Darklands
by R3-1 M4y3r
Summary: Twelve months, that was the deal. Jo had agreed to live with him in Tacoma for twelve months; then he'd go Nomad and she would be free to live wherever she wanted to. It was an understatement to say that things didn't turn out as they had planned. Sequel to "Far Gone & Out".
1. I'm Going to the Darklands

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

**_This is the Sequel to story 'Far Gone & Out', it won't make much sense if you haven't read it._**

_With that out of the way... this is a very complex story and it's going to take me much longer to write this one than any of the other ones. Despite it being about Jo and Hap, it's going to be much more about the club, as oppose to the first that was only focused on the two of them. I think it'll be worth the wait though._

_One of the reasons I'm starting this now is that I'm very far ahead on it, I don't need to stress about it and I have the main plot line worked out. The other reason is that the two other stories are very similar, I'm basically getting bored and if I get bored, I don't write. This is a way to keep me writing. And no worries, 'Sweet Things' is sorted, a lot of it's written. The main plot for 'Long Gone Blues' is sorted as well so I'm not stuck on any of them. I'm just a bit bored and because of that I've been writing a lot on this one lately. They'll be finished and another chapter of LGB will be up later this week._

_As always, I owe so much to _**_MuckyShroom _**_and _**_Simone Santos_**_!_

* * *

**1. I'm Going to the Darklands**

-o0o-

_I learned at an early age that life isn't fair. There is no justice. __P__eople don't get what's coming to them._

_Some are born with __silver spoon__s__ in their mouth__s__. Others are born to be slaves._

_I watched them as they walked inside the clubhouse, cocky, like they owned the world. One of them sat down__ o__n the couch and waved at one of the women. She walked over to him with a beer and sat down in his la__. S__he looked so pleased__, l__ike sitting in that guy__'__s lap made her something more than a common whore._

_I turned towards the bar and picked up my drink. This was my out, my ticket to a better life, and I wasn't planning on letting it slip out of my hands. I'd do what was necessary._

-o0o-

Happy walked inside the clubhouse. Lorca was on the couch with one of the sweetbutts in his lap. It was Saturday and most of the others were still hung over from the night before. It had been six months since the lockdown in Charming and he and Jo had been in Tacoma for five. The first months had been a reminder of how that woman could drive him insane; but also a reminder of why he loved her to death.

Kozik walked in and leaned against the bar next to Happy.

"Wha'd'ya think?"

"Bout what?" he asked and looked at Koz.

"The things with the Old Ladies."

Someone seemed to be attacking their Old Ladies. None of them had been harmed so far, but it was still bad. They couldn't ignore stuff like that and they had to find out as soon as possible who it was that was attacking them, and why. He was looking forward to finding whoever it was, 'cause he was gonna show them what happened when they pulled stunts like that.

Lee's Old Lady, Melissa, had almost been run off the road as she drove home from work. Bowie's girl, Eden, had a freak accident at the grocery store when a stack of canned food almost fell over her. Finally it was the Secretary Bondo's wife, Joyce, who'd been pushed in front of a bus and just barely got out of the way. Small things that one by one wouldn't been something they'd notice, other than being pissed about it, but all together put them on high alert.

"Don't know. Need to figure it out though," Hap said.

"Sure do," Koz said and looked at him. "Where's Jo?"

He shrugged. "Hustling some suckers probably."

"I bet she is," Koz laughed. "Got someone with her?"

"Put Vinsa on her." No fucking way in hell he'd let her loose alone at the moment.

"Does she know you did that?"

Now it was Happy's turn to laugh. "No."

"Oh, she's gonna be pissed when she figures it out."

They both knew that she would figure it out and that she didn't like him sending guys after her. In fact, she fucking hated it. Jo was used to taking care of herself. She had her own people with her, some friends that watched her back; but Happy didn't trust others with his Old Lady. He wanted his brothers to watch her when she wouldn't let him do it himself, which she hardly ever did. Something about him scaring people off.

But he was okay with her being pissed. As long as she was on the right side of furious, it just meant the sex got better. He walked over to the side and picked up his phone. She answered almost immediately.

"_Are you checking up on me?"_

"Yes." No use in denying it. Besides, he had every fucking right to check up on her. "Where are you?"

"_Bee and the Barb,"_ Jo answered and he could hear the bar noises around her. _"What are you up to?"_

"Not much, at the clubhouse." He looked around at the hungover, yet drinking, people. "What are you up to?"

"_Usual. And by the way, you need to teach that prospect how to follow people." _She said it with a laugh, so she was on the right side of furious. He was gonna rip that fucking prospect a new one when he got a hold of him though. He really sucked, but the other two were watching Lee and Bondo's Old Ladies. Bowie's girl was with him here at the clubhouse. _"Babe?"_

"Yeah. Still here. Peanut... you know why."

"_I do. And I'm not pissed, just thought you should know that he doesn't know what surveillance means."_

"I'll teach him."

"_Bet you will. I won't be late."_

"Okay. I'll see you at home. And he's gonna keep an eye on you. I'm not calling him off."

"_I know and I love you. Despite being like this."_

"Good. Not planning on changing."

He heard her laugh as he hung up. His crazy ass hustler wife.

-o0o-

Vinsa was nervous. Hap had stared him down and told him to keep an eye on his Old Lady and to keep a low profile. It was a huge thing. You did not mess with Happy and you did not fuck up when he asked you to do something. He was scared to blink now, in case he missed something.

He'd followed her to a bar and she was playing pool with some guy. Vinsa knew that she was a hustler. He hadn't talked to her, he wouldn't dare talk to Hap's Old Lady, fucking ever. She seemed nice though.

The bartender came over with a coke.

"From the lady over there."

When he looked at Joanna she held her drink up in a toast. Obviously she'd spotted him. He was in so much fucking trouble.

-o0o-

Soza was playing pool with Hap. He'd been a member for a year and a half, but it wasn't until the last ten months or so he'd been fully comfortable with talking to Hap. Once he started, he figured out that Hap was a cool guy. Crazy? Sure, but still nice to be around, and surprisingly funny when he wanted to be.

It had still been the shock of a fucking lifetime when the other guys came back from Charming and told them Hap was in LA with his wife. The fucker apparently had a wife!

It was an even bigger shock when the two of them came back and Soza realized that Hap's wife wasn't a 6 foot blond with a rack the size of two water melons. Instead she was a tiny, flat chested, black haired chick. He couldn't for the life of him figure out how the fuck that tiny being had managed to gather up the balls to marry Hap. And more importantly; to leave him!

The fourth time she'd been there Hap had come up to him and asked him what his fucking problem was and why Soza kept staring at his Old Lady. It had taken him a few seconds before he decided to tell Hap the truth. He also admitted that he couldn't figure out why Hap had gone for her. Soza had been fully prepared to be taken up in the ring for that comment, but Hap just laughed and told him he'd show him some day.

The next time Jo came around, Hap asked Soza to play some pool with her. So they did, it was fun and _she_ was a lot of fun. Kept telling him crazy stories. When she and Hap were about to leave, Hap put all the stuff Soza thought was still in his pockets - his wallet, keys, numerous knives, even his watch - on the table. Jo had emptied everything from him while they played and he hadn't noticed a damn thing. Hap gave him a big smile, 'This is why I went for her,' he said, 'wait 'til you see her hustle,' he'd added with another laugh. Soza had stared at the stuff on the pool table, the smiling Hap and the laughing Joanna, before he too burst out into a laughter as well.

Since then he liked her, just like all the members who knew her from before did. The other new member, Cage, didn't. But Soza suspected that it had a lot to do with his Old Lady, Brooke. Brooke _hated_ Jo. He hadn't really figured out why, but she sure as shit did. Being the brown-nosing bitch that she was, she still really tried to get on Jo's good side. It wasn't very successful.

The main reason Soza liked her was that she was a pretty normal girl. She stopped by now and then, played some pool or poker with them, told them stories on hungover Saturdays, usually when Lee asked her. When she was there, she wasn't all over Hap, she was hanging out with all of them, but in a respectful way.

What really had struck him though, was how she could stand next to anyone, talk to anyone, and she was still somehow _with_ Hap. He had a hard time picturing what had made her leave and he would never find out because he would never fucking ask any one of them. According to Bowie, the only ones who knew were Hap, Jo and Koz; none of them would ever tell.

He looked up at Hap when he missed a shot and motioned to him that it was his turn.

"Where's the little thief?" Soza asked.

"Thieving," he answered.

"Got someone on her?"

Hap didn't answer, just gave him a look. Of course he did, stupid question.

"Does she make any money from that?" He continued instead of commenting on his own stupid quesiton.

"Not that much."

"So what? She does it for fun?" Hap nodded with a sigh and Soza couldn't help but laugh. "I like her, she's crazy, but I like her."

Hap's phone rang. He picked it up and more or less barked when he answered.

"What."

Soza didn't wait and took his shot when he noticed Hap throwing his cue on the table.

"Shots? From my apartment?"

That didn't sound good at all and Soza threw his cue down as well, ready to go with him. Hap waved at Koz too and they walked out to their bikes.

"I'll be there in five minutes and make sure no one fucking leaves the apartment," Hap yelled and hung up before turning to them. "My place."

Soza had a hard time keeping up with Hap and he prayed that no cops tried to stop them, because Hap would kill them. Without a doubt. He and Jo might not be Cage and Brooke, half fucking in public; or Bowie's girl Eden who was a real sweetheart towards him at all times; but he knew that Hap took commitments seriously and at the moment it looked like his girl was in trouble.

They stopped in front of the apartment building and he ran after Hap up the stairs. The second they got inside Hap yelled.

"Peanut!"

"In here," they heard from the bathroom, but it was Vinsa answering, not Jo.

Hap halted in the doorway. "Oh fuck! Peanut!"

"I called an ambulance," Vinsa said and Soza suspected they might have to call a second one for Vinsa, judging by the look he got from Hap.

"Get out," Soza said to him and he scurried away.

"Fuck!" Koz said when he looked inside.

Hap got down on his knees next to Jo. She was bleeding, but Soza couldn't see from where and he didn't want to ask. Koz didn't seem to have the same hesitations.

"Do you see where she's hit?"

"Shoulder. I think," Hap mumbled and picked up Jo so that she rested in his lap. "Baby, can you hear me?"

Soza could hear her mumbling, but not what she said. Hap slapped her cheeks a couple of times.

"Can you hear me, Jo?"

"There was no answer and that's when Hap really shocked the shit outta him.

"Come on, Peanut. They're on their way," he said with a thick voice and pressed his lips to her forehead. "Stay with me, baby."

"Mmmm," Jo mumbled and finally opened her eyes.

"You with me?"

"Always."

That one he clearly heard and he stared at Koz who didn't seemed surprised at all. Soza was surprised; and it wasn't over. Hap answered her and shocked the shit outta him.

"Good, honey. Very good. Now keep that promise, you hear me? We have a deal now. You're gonna stay with me." There was another mumble and Hap leaned closer to her. "What, Jo? I can't hear you."

"Tell me... you love me."

Soza swallowed hard a couple of times. This would've been tough no matter which one of his brothers it was, but seeing those two like this, that was... something else. He looked at Koz and noticed his worried expression, but he still didn't seem as stunned as Soza felt.

"You know I do." He held her closer. "I love you, baby."

There was a chuckle from Jo. "Sucker," she whispered and Soza had to swallow a laugh. He wouldn't have had to worry about laughing though, 'cause Hap did.

"That's my hustler wife. Come on, stick to that bitchyness."

The next second the paramedics hurried inside and Soza stepped outside of the bathroom, still a bit shell shocked from what he'd seen. He'd hardly seen Hap touch her before and that was... Not that he hadn't sort of known that Hap loved her. He had just never seen Hap like that. With the exception of Koz, there probably wasn't all that many people who had.

"Think she'll be okay?" Koz asked him.

"Looked like it was just the shoulder."

Soza looked at the paramedics who were rolling Jo out with Hap following them. Then he looked at Vinsa who was sitting on the couch. That guy would be lucky if he survived this.

"What's her name?" One of the paramedics asked.

"Joanna," Hap answered. "She's my wife."

The guy looked up at him and nodded. "Okay, you can come with us."

"We'll meet you at the hospital," Koz yelled after them.

That's when the prospect opened his mouth. "Listen..."

"Shup up," Koz interrupted him. "Get the fuck out of here!"

Once he was gone, Koz sat down and picked up his phone, probably to call the other members. "She better be fine," he mumbled.

-o0o-

Happy looked at Jo, lying on the stretcher inside the ambulance. As far as he could tell it was just the shot in the shoulder and that shouldn't be a problem.

He was also trying to figure out what to say to her. How the hell was he supposed to apologies for this? His next thought was about what he'd do to those fucks when he got a hold of them. The opportunities were endless and he was going to do his very best to make it last. And finally, it was the fucking prospect who'd fucked up. Basically, Happy would be a busy man for a while.

When he came out into the waiting room, Lee, Donut, Bowie and Melissa were already there. He liked Melissa. More importantly, Jo did and it seemed to be mutual. Melissa had tears in her eyes and was holding Lee's hand.

"What did they say?"

"Not much." He looked down at his blooded hands and went to wash them off in the bathroom.

He watched her blood disappear into the drain and leaned his head against the mirror. There was no doubt in his mind that no matter who'd done this to Jo, it was his fault. It was because of him. Whoever had been going after the other Old Ladies had gone after Jo. Obviously, whoever was targeting them, wasn't going to take any chances with Jo. Still, it was a shot in the shoulder. You had to be a pretty lousy shot and a complete moron if you thought that would kill her. So it was probably more to hurt her. He looked down at his t-shirt, there was blood on that too. When he came out from the bathroom, Kozik handed him a clean one and he took it with a hug. He was glad that he had his brothers there and even more glad that they knew him. None of them tried to include him in any conversations.

It felt like hours, and it probably was, before someone came out. A doctor.

"Mr. Lowman?"

"Yeah?" he said and stood up.

"This way please," he pointed towards the corridor. When Happy hesitated, he smiled. "She's going to be just fine. I'm taking you to her now."

Happy followed him. It took him a while to realize that the man was speaking. The last thing he heard was 'ultrasound'.

"What?"

"We did an ultrasound to make sure and the baby looked fine. It's not out of the woods yet so we'll keep a close eye on it."

He halted and stared at the man. "The what?"

"The baby..." he trailed off. "You didn't know."

He opened the door to the room and Happy finally saw her, so pale and small in the bed. He took a deep breath when he walked up to her.

"She's pregnant?"

"It's early. It's not certain that she knew..." She may not have known...

It wouldn't be that strange if she didn't. She never knew when she was supposed to have her fucking period and as far as he could tell; it wasn't regular and came as a complete surprise to her every damn time. He sat down next to her.

"She should wake up soon, but she needs rest. Any other visitors should wait until tomorrow."

He only nodded as a response and kept looking at her. Her hair looked a bit greasy, he stroked it from her face and took her hand.

He sat there, just watching her and waiting for her to wake up. There wasn't much for him to discuss, he'd already agreed on backing her on her decision and he was so not fucking this up again. She might not have been pregnant the last time, but he'd been an ass. So this time he was backing off, it was up to her and he'd be there for her whatever she decided. If there was anything to decide, from what the doctor had said it might not make it anyway.

At the moment he really didn't give a fuck as long as she stayed. Seeing her there, on the floor, all that fucking blood. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been that scared.

There was a knock on the door and he turned around.

"Hey," Koz said when he opened the door. "We just wanna know what the doc said."

"She'll be fine. It was nothing major."

"Hey," Melissa looked around Koz. "That's good to hear." She looked at him. "We'll leave you now. Call when she's getting bored and we'll keep her occupied."

"Yeah."

"What's the name of those flowers she likes?" Koz asked and looked at him.

Hap sighed. "I don't know. Big, yellow ones. And like... brown in the middle?"

"Sunflowers?" Melissa asked.

"I think so." It sounded familiar at least. He looked at Koz. "Is Lee leaving someone here?"

"Absolutely. Tell her I said 'hi'."

"Sure." He turned away from them again and heard the door close behind him.

Happy took a deep breath and looked at his sleeping girl. Shot and pregnant, she was gonna love waking up from this one.


	2. To Talk In Rhyme

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_Thank you so much to all of you for your response to this story, I'm glad that you' all seem to be looking forward to another Happy and Jo-story._

_As always, thank you to **Simone Santos** and **MuckyShroom**, make sure you have a look at their stories. And another thank you to the lovely ladies in the Freak Circle who can pick me up like few can when I'm having a shitty day._

* * *

**2: To Talk In Rhyme**

_I don't think that my opportunities could've been all that different, given where I came from, but I do sometimes wonder if I would've seen these circumstances different__ly__ if just anyone had ever given me one single shot at something good. If anyone had even given me an opportunity to care about someone else._

_As it is now, all I see is me and what can give me a better life. The people around me are just pawns I need to move around to get a clear shot at a brighter future._

-o0o-

Happy sat next to Jo's bed for hours. Now and then a doctor or a nurse came in, checked some monitors, wrote something down, before giving him a nod and leaving. The women even gave him motherly smiles, that wasn't something he was used to. Not even his own ma gave him that smile all that often. He guessed it didn't matter how fucking bad ass you looked and how much you glared: If you were sitting holding your wife's hand at a hospital bed, everyone thought you were the sweetest guy alive.

At the moment he didn't give a shit so he sat there, and he'd stay there, until she woke up.

"Hap?" she finally mumbled and shifted position slightly before the pain obviously hit her and she stiffened up. "Fuck!"

"I'm here, baby. Don't move." He leaned closer. "Do you need anything? Want me to call the doctor?"

She shook her head. "Water."

They had left a pitcher of water and a glass with a straw so he poured her some water and held it for her. While she was drinking, Happy tried to once again, figure out what the fuck he was going to say to her.

When she rested her head back he took her hand again. "I'm sorry, Peanut."

"Don't be," she said and shook her head. "Wasn't your fault. It was mine."

"How the fuck is this your fault?"

"I messed up, hustled the wrong guy. He was on something. He must've followed me home."

Happy swallowed, not sure who he was most pissed at and what to explode over. "Are you serious?"

"It wasn't your fault."

After some deep swallows he looked up at her. "How the fuck did you make a rookie mistake like that?"

"I know. Think you could save the chewing out until I can stand up?"

"You're not hustling again."

"Can we wait..."

"No! There is nothing to fucking discuss. You're not hustling again."

"Hap..."

"Absolutely not. Do you have any fucking idea how fucking terrified I was?"

"I'm sorry."

He took some deep breaths. "Baby..."

"Are you gonna stop putting yourself at risk? 'Cause we both know that you're taking bigger risks than I am. I messed up and I'm not having this discussion now. Not when I'm in pain."

He eyed her. "Need anything?"

"A kiss?"

"A kiss. Okay." He leaned over and pressed his lips against hers. "We _are_ going to have this discussion."

"I promise."

"Got some more... news," he said when he sat back down.

"Not sure I like where this is going."

"You won't." He took her hand again. "You're pregnant."

-o0o-

Hap looked extremely uncomfortable in the chair, his ass half hanging over the edge, head leaning against the wall and snoring. Joanna couldn't sleep. Pregnant.

They hadn't talked about that either. He'd said they'd deal with both of those things later. She couldn't blame him for being pissed at her for fucking up. It had been years since she made such a stupid mistake.

And pregnant. She wasn't even sure how to feel about that.

Things had been going well since she came back. They still fought, but not that bad. The club was pretty much the same. Some new members, some of them she liked and others she didn't. It had been like coming home and that feeling freaked her out a bit. Being back with Hap didn't, she liked that.

Hap did one of those scary snores, a deep snore inhale, then quiet followed by a half cough. He sat up.

"You're snoring."

"Got no proof," he said wiping the corner of his mouth while pulling the chair closer to her. He grabbed her glass and took a few sips of water. "Can't sleep?"

"No."

"Need anything?"

"No, they were just in here and gave me something." She took his hand. "Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, Peanut." When she eyed him he laughed. "A little maybe. You need to be smarter than that."

"No lectures. Not yet. When I come home you can lecture me all you want. Even punish me."

By her calculations, this could earn her the punish fuck of the century once he was done with the yelling. Judging by his laugh he knew exactly what she was thinking about.

"I'm gonna punish you by not punishing you," he leaned closer, still smiling.

"Evil man," she said and squeezed his hand. "Keep me warm?"

"Baby, I'm not sure that's a good idea. I could hurt you."

"No you couldn't. And I'm really small, there's room for you." She moved as far to the edge of the bed as possible. With a sigh he got into the bed next to her. "Thank you."

"You're cute when you're stoned and have greasy hair. Really look like a surfer now."

"You're cute when you worry about me."

"I'm never cute," he growled.

"No. You're a bad ass, kick ass, mean motherfucker who's gonna spank me silly when I'm well enough for it."

"Think the best punishment would be to jerk off in front of you and cum on your new towels; to show you I'm not cute."

"Hey," she tried to turn around but that hurt her shoulder. "What's with the 'I'm not cute'-focus?"

"The nurses are giving me smiles."

It took her a while to figure it out and then it dawned on her and she started to laugh.

"Aww, they think you're sweet for sitting here with you sick wife."

"Shut up," he mumbled and gave her cheek a kiss.

"It is sweet, but I promise to not tell anyone how sweet you are."

He kissed her cheek again. "Get some sleep."

"You need to get something to eat, Hap."

Joanna knew he hadn't left her and he could get pretty fucking grumpy when he got hungry. If another nurse looked at him with a sweet smile he might just knock her out to make a point.

"I will. When you're sleeping and I'll send Koz and some of the girls here tomorrow to keep you company."

"I'll be fine, Hap. Don't worry, just make sure I get my reading pad."

"I'll get it for you." He hugged her closer. "Sleep. I'll see you tomorrow, baby."

-o0o-

Kozik walked through the hospital and noticed more than one nurse eying him. He really missed the old times, when nurses had those white, tight dresses. The things they wore now weren't half as hot.

Hap had come to the clubhouse early in the morning, looking half dead. The man was too fucking old to sleep in a hospital chair, but there was no way in hell he'd be the one to tell him that. And if it had been his Old Lady, he'd be there too. Frankly, if Hap hadn't been sitting there with Jo, for whatever reason, he'd have done it.

He was carrying a big bouquet of Sunflowers. When he walked into her room she was still sleeping so he put the flowers on her table and sat down in the chair. It was a really uncomfortable fucking chair. Jo looked okay, not great, but okay at least.

It was good to have her back in Tacoma, he'd missed her crazy ass while she was gone and he'd missed how Hap was when she was around. Now he was his old self again and Jo was just like usual as well. The stunt Hap had her pull with Soza, picking his pockets, had Kozik laughing for weeks.

"Wow," she mumbled and when he looked up she was looking at the flowers. "I love Sunflowers."

"Yeah, Hap told me," he answered and moved the chair closer.

"Did he really remember what they were called?"

"No, just what they looked like," Kozik admitted with a smile. "He told me you fucked up."

Hap was still pissed when he came to the clubhouse. He hadn't told him exactly what had happened, just that it wasn't club shit and that Jo had fucked up somehow. That it wasn't on them and then he walked away mumbling, half growling, about needing to have a talk with his Old Lady when she got better.

"Don't you have a go at me too."

"Wouldn't dream of it. I'll wait until you're feeling better." And until he'd seen how hard Hap came down on her.

"Thanks," she smirked and sat up a bit. "What else is going on?"

"Not much. Usual shit." He leaned back in the chair. "I'm not gonna have a go at you, but tell me what happened. Big picture, leave the details to Hap."

"He was jonesing and I missed it. Probably wasn't all that bad while I was playing him. He thought I was an easy victim."

"Probably because you played an easy victim."

"That's sort of the point, Koz." She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I also missed that he was following me, I was too focused on that prospect. He came in, took my money and shot me in the shoulder to 'teach me a lesson'. That's a quote."

Teach her a lesson. Koz actually smiled when he thought about how Hap would teach that guy a lesson. The dude would discover a whole new world of lessons he hadn't even dreamed of before.

"Have you told Hap?"

"Not all of it. I'll talk to him when he comes back, give him the details. I'm guessing you're going after him."

"Obviously."

"How much trouble is the prospect in?"

"Peanut... you know that's none of your business."

Shitloads of trouble, would be the correct answer. _If_ he came out of it alive, and that was a big if, there was no way in hell Hap would ever vote him in. Ever. And that was a problem simply since the guy was Cage's guy. There was already trouble brewing in the clubhouse from what had happened. He needed to talk to Hap about it, to make sure it wouldn't be worse.

Truth be told, there was no way Kozik would vote Vinsa in either. He'd had his doubts about him even before this. He'd talk to Hap about it later on, either way, it didn't concern Jo and Hap wouldn't want her involved in it.

The door opened and Hap came in, holding a bag. Hap and Jo looked at each other for a while, he looked pissed and she looked a bit guilty.

"You still look a bit pissed," she finally said.

"I'm not pissed."

"You got that 'I'm pissed'-face."

"This isn't my 'I'm pissed'-face. It's my 'I'm worried'-face."

"Looks a lot like your pissed face."

"I get pissed when I worry," he said and sat down with a sigh.

Both Kozik and Jo laughed.

"You're a bad liar, baby." Jo said, she looked a little less worried now. "You're about to explode all over me."

It was even obvious to Kozik that he was lying, but as opposed to Jo he didn't think Hap actually was pissed at her, he was pissed at himself. He decided that this was a good time to leave them alone, so he stood up and gave her kiss a cheek.

"I'm gonna leave you and your worried Old Man alone."

"Nice, Koz," she glared at him. "Throw me to the wolves why don't you?"

"Not my Old Lady, not my problem." But the turned to Hap, gave his shoulder a pat. "Go easy on her. Besides, she'll remember more if you wait until she's not stoned."

Hap laughed as well and the last thing he saw when the door closed was Hap moving closer to her bed.

-o0o-

Once the door closed behind Koz, Hap turned to Joanna and moved closer to her. They were both just staring at each other, waiting for the other one to start. She patted the bed next to her, hoping he'd get in and _not_ talk about her hustling, or - God forbid - the fact that she was pickpocketing again. She hadn't stopped doing that when they got back together and he hadn't brought it up. He knew that she did but had let it slide. She couldn't see him letting things slide after this.

So she patted her hand on the bed next to her again, _really_ hoping he'd just get down next to her and give her some peace. Just for a while. It didn't look like he would.

He ran his hand over his head and finished the move by rubbing his face. "I can't..."

Looked like she'd been right, she wouldn't get out of this discussion after all. The 'I need you safe'-discussion. They'd had it at least once before, when he made her stop pickpocketing.

"Hap, the only thing I'm good at is picking pockets and hustling. I've done it for over twenty years. I can't just give all that shit up. Not anymore than you can give up your stuff."

There was a knock on the door, it opened to reveal two cops. It was the first time in her life she was glad to see cops. Ever.

"Mrs. Lowman. I'm detective Murphy and this is my partner Foster." They smiled and simply walked inside. "According to your doctor you're well enough to talk."

The look on Hap's face told her she had to make sure he didn't kill the doctor for that. She looked at the cops.

"I'm not sure I can help you."

"Did you see the person who shot you?"

"No, he was wearing a mask." That was a flat out lie.

"Is there anything you can tell us?" The look on detective Murphy's face revealed that he didn't believe her at all and frankly, she couldn't have cared less.

"Pretty big, wide over the shoulders. I think."

Another lie and she could see Hap trying to hide his smile. He knew she was lying and she realized that this could be the out she was looking for, not only because they were interrupted, but also because he loved watching he lie to cops. She took a deep breath and hoped she'd be be able to shed a tear or two.

-o0o-

Happy walked into the clubhouse. He was still smiling about how Jo had handled those cops. When she'd managed to press out a couple of tears he'd bit down hard onto his cheeks to stop himself from laughing and moved closer to take her hand. That had really pissed her off, him playing the concerned husband, but she'd laughed about it afterwards.

The cops had come to the same conclusion as he had; that it was due to club business that she had been shot; that it was about him. He had no interest in talking them out of that illusion since it would put them on the wrong track from the beginning. If they even bothered to look into it at all. He wasn't all that convinced that they would bother.

They'd asked him a couple of questions too, but that had mostly been for show, they didn't expect him to answer and he didn't.

He saw Lee in the bar and went to sit down next to him.

"How is she?"

"Fine."

Melissa came over and smiled at him. "Eden and I thought we'd go and visit Jo. Think she's up for it?"

He shrugged. "Probably."

She gave Lee a kiss and then left.

"Think she's really okay with that?" Lee asked while he looked at his Old Lady's ass. "Them visiting."

"She'll let them know if she's not."

She probably was, at least as long as they didn't take Brook, but he didn't think they would.

-o0o-

Lee looked at the members of his club sitting around the table. They had a lot to discuss and the Old Ladies issue was the first thing he'd bring up. Even if Jo's attack didn't have anything to do with the club, you still didn't get away with shooting a member's Old Lady and that had to be dealt with. Didn't matter what fucking stupid reason the idiot had.

The last one through the doors was Bondo, the secretary. He sat down with a nod and the rest of them silenced.

"We have some things to deal with and we're gonna start with our Old Ladies. First the attacks." He looked at Hap. "And then we'll get to Jo."

Hap nodded.

He lit a smoke and leaned back, then he looked at Lorca. "Any leads on the car?"

Lorca wasn't Juice, but he was the closest thing they had and he was still damn good.

"No. With respect to your Old Lady Lee, 'a red, kinda big, car' isn't that much help."

"Did you have her look at pictures?"

"Yeah. Think it might be a combi, but she wasn't even sure of that."

Lee shook his head. "Might not even be red."

He loved his girl, but she didn't know shit about cars and she'd been terrified when that fucking asshole had tried to run her off the road. He doubted that she'd seen much at all and even if she had, she wouldn't be able to tell them much.

"Was Eden able to say anything?" the VP, Donut, asked Bowie.

He shook his head in response. "Nah. Said it was canned tomatoes that almost fell over her. That was it."

"Jesus!" Lorca muttered. "The more I hear about their stories the more scared I get when I realize how much trust cops put in witnesses. Didn't Joyce tell you that the person who pushed her in front of the bus _probably_ had a blue jacket and then what fucking perfume commercial was on the bus?"

Bondo rolled his eyes and nodded, but Koz couldn't contain his laughter and once he started, the rest followed.

"Yeah. I have no idea where we're even gonna start digging when it comes to this shit," Lee admitted. He looked around the table. "Has anyone heard anything about this?"

When they all shook their heads he looked at his Sergeant at Arms.

"I'll call and set up meets with some of our associates." Koz agreed without him even saying anything. "Maybe they know something."

"Set it up, as soon as possible."

"How's Peanut?" Bowie asked.

"Fine. Cops questioned her today," Hap said and Lee didn't miss the smile on his lips

"I'm guessing she was ever so helpful," Koz said.

"Yup, crocodile tears running down her cheeks."

They all laughed again and Koz shook his head. "Does she know who it was?"

"Got a name. Thought I'd go and have a talk with the bartender at the bar too." He looked at Koz. "You with me?"

"Absolutely."

"Take someone else too," Lee said and pointed at Bowie, "You up for it?"

"Oh, yes."

Lee hadn't doubted for a second he would be.

"I'll come too," Soza said, "If it's okay with you?" The last part was to Hap.

"Yeah."

They dealt with the rest of their business and then got up and walked outside. It wasn't a Friday church, but they'd had a lot to deal with. Lee got a beer from a Sweetbutt and went up to Hap.

"What about that one?" He nodded towards Vinsa. "He fucked up."

"Yes."

"You'll never vote him."

"No, I won't."

Lee sighed. Cage was Vinsa's sponsor and they had enough fucking problems with Cage as it was. Or rather, Cage had a problem with Hap. Lee had no idea where that came from, whether it was some lame attempt from Cage to take over Hap's spot as the enforcer. Hap was Hap and he didn't give a fuck about Cage trying to swing his dick around him, even if Cage probably wanted to think that he was getting to him; he wasn't. Hap knew how solid his position was.

At the same time, the prospect had fucked up. Seriously fucked up. Not only had he let an Old Lady get shot on his watch, he'd let the shooter get away.

"Think you could at least just beat him up instead of killing him and let me talk to Cage before you spread the word about not voting him in."

Hap's eyes didn't leave the prospect. "Won't say shit."

"Didn't think so. And the killing?"

Hap emptied his beer and slammed the bottle onto the table. "Better call a doc."

Lee sighed and picked up his phone. This would get messy.


	3. With My Chaotic Soul

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

___As always, so grateful for your follows, favs and reviews. Thank you so much. _

___There are currently a lot of things going on in my private life and my updates are not as frequent as they used to be, but I'm still working on all the stories. Please be patient and hopefully I'll soon be up to normal speed again._

* * *

**3: With My Chaotic Soul**

_I watched as Happy strode over to Vinsa, a prospect, grabbed the back of his neck and threw him __across __the floor. I had known it was coming and I'd heard the reason __being __discussed between the sweetbutts and hangarounds. Vinsa had messed up and Happy's Old Lady got shot. _

_He was good at it, fighting. Controlled, hard blows rained over the smaller guy. At first __Vinsa __tried to fight back, but eventually he just curled up and took the blows. I'd seen many beat downs, more than I'd like to remember and there were really just two ways people reacted; they fought __'__til they blacked out, or they did what this guy was doing, __they __gave up._

_There was no way of knowing beforehand how someone would react. I'd seen eight year old girls fight back till they blacked out and full grown men, like this one, just give up, curl into a ball and wait for it to be over. I would never do that. I would fight until the end._

_When the guy was like a limp ragdoll, three of the members pulled Happy away. His hands were bloody and his eyes were still crazy. When he calmed down they let him go and as a last insult he spat on Vinsa, lying unconscious on the ground. Along with three other members Happy walked out of the clubhouse._

-o0o-

Eden had met Bowie three years earlier, but it wasn't until the last couple of years that she'd really started to enjoy coming to the club. Most of it had to do with Lee's ex wife, Shelly, she was a real bitch. Once he divorced her and hooked up with Melissa instead, things really calmed down amongst the women of the club. The sweetbutts were at it as always, but they kept their shit between themselves, Melissa made sure of that. Melissa was nice, but she wasn't scared of knocking a few bitches around if they misbehaved.

So when Joanna had showed up, Melissa had been a bit on edge, but pretty soon she figured out what Eden already knew, Joanna wasn't trouble. Eden liked her a lot, Joanna was older, but she didn't wield her age around as something that meant the others were inferior. She wasn't at the club that much, but was still more involved than Joyce, the secretary Bondo's Old Lady. Joyce basically came for the bigger things, she was nice and all, just not very involved.

When they gave Jo the stuff they'd brought she held up the mango juice and laughed. It was Bowie who had bought that, three boxes of it. Eden had thought it was a bit much, but Jo seemed to be really happy about it.

"Thanks," Jo smiled. "This is really nice of you."

"How long are you stuck here?" Eden asked.

"A couple of days. The doctors keep telling me how lucky I am. Kind of had that coming though, considering all the shit luck I've had so far."

"How pissed is Hap with you?" Melissa smiled as she sat down.

Even if Bowie kept telling her that she didn't have to worry about Hap, he still scared her. They guy hardly talked, he just glared. She'd seen him with Jo and he didn't glare at her, he kind of looked sweet, but he still freaked her out. So having Hap pissed at you wasn't something she'd joke about, but Jo laughed.

"Pretty pissed. It'll be fine," she shrugged. Eden looked at Melissa who smiled and Jo noticed it. "What?"

Melissa was the one who finally answered. "Brooke is having a field day. She's sure he's going to kick you out now."

Brooke. There was a bitch. She was Cage's Old Lady and since Cage became a patched member, just over a year earlier, she'd been around a lot. Melissa had the sweetbutts help when she needed, treated them nice, but made sure it was obvious they were lower on the scale, Eden tried to ignore them as much as possible, but Brooke was a complete bitch towards them. When Jo showed up it had surprised all of the women that Hap was married, but Brooke seemed offended by it. Probably because she'd made some pathetic attempts to charm Hap and he'd... well, he'd been Hap about it. It was probably that Brooke was really pretty, very hot and had curves, she'd been one of those smash hits in high school. She was used to having guys trip over themselves to get her attention; but it didn't work like that in an MC, not unless you were a new sweetbutt and even then hot didn't mean respect in any way.

As an Old Lady, you did get respect from the other guys, but you still had to know your place and frankly, they didn't care much if there was trouble among the Old Ladies, that was bitch business and it was up to the women themselves to take care of it. No matter what, no guy would hit on another man's Old Lady. So when Brooke had started to, basically, come on to Hap, it had been really fucking embarrassing. Hap had made it very clear to her that she was way out of line, within about thirty seconds; again in a very Hap way.

Being pretty rudely taken down by Hap in the way she had, combined with Brooke thinking Jo wasn't hot enough to be an Old Lady, had made Brooke hate her from the get go. She'd been going on about that for a full night; stating that Jo wasn't all that hot. However, every one of the older members seemed to, if not like Jo, at least respect her. Some of them loved her. She and Koz were really close and Eden knew that Bowie liked her a lot. It all became a bit much for Brooke, so she was more of a bitch to Jo than anyone else. The fact that Jo didn't seem to give a flying fuck about that obviously that pissed Brooke off even worse.

So now, when they found out that Jo had messed up somehow and had been shot because of it, Brooke had spent thirty minutes in the bar gloating about it. She gleefully proclaimed that Hap was sure to kick Jo's skinny ass out now and that she'd probably not be welcome at the clubhouse anymore. The idea of Brooke discussing her didn't seem to bother Jo at all, not that Eden had expected her to care.

"I'm not too worried about that," she said. "What did she say? That I've finally proven that I'm not a proper Old Lady?"

"Yeah," Eden giggled. "And that you had proven that you're not fully _in_ the life."

Melissa laughed as well before giving a Jo a stern look. "You need to stand behind your man, do as he says, clean his house and give him regular blow jobs."

"Don't forget the massage when he gets back from a run. And never meet his eyes in public," Eden filled in.

The three of them were laughing now.

"You need to be the woman your man wants," Jo added. "Need to leave your old life behind you and be all for him."

"Jesus," Eden dried her cheeks. She really didn't like Brooke, but she knew that Melissa would calm them down soon. "We're bad people."

"Yup," Melissa nodded. "So much more fun that way. She's trying though." Melissa always ended up defending Brooke, albeit a bit halfheartedly. "I mean, she's new to all this and she sort of followed Cage into the club. She's just trying to fit in."

"By picking on everyone else," Eden never felt like defending Brooke. She never argued with her or got in her face, but she didn't defend her. "I think it just killed her when you waltzed in as the killer's Old Lady and wife; and that he'd sort of been waiting for you to come back."

"And that all the older members knew you and liked you. None of us had even heard of you," Melissa smiled at Jo.

"I had," Eden said and Melissa stared at her. She shrugged. "Bowie told me about her. I joked once about Hap, that I'd love to see the butch girl that could handle him. He told me that the only girl who had been able to handle him wasn't butch at all, just really fucking sneaky."

It had been just after Brooke's pathetic attempt to charm Hap. Bowie had told her a lot more about Jo, what she was like and how she just disappeared, followed by Hap and Koz having a huge fight. He'd talked quite a lot about her and he'd called her when he was in Charming, saying that Jo was there and he was very excited about it. Eden had been excited too until Bowie said it didn't look like Jo was coming with them to Tacoma, that Hap and Jo weren't even talking to each other. Two days later he had laughed about Jo already being back in Hap's bed.

Jo laughed. "Sneaky."

"His words," Eden said with a smile. "Gotta admit he's right though. He told me about you, and that opera thing."

"Opera thing?" Melissa looked at Jo. "I've never heard of that."

"I helped them."

"Is that how you met Hap?" Melissa seemed very interested.

"No. I met him in a bar. He was there with Koz. I lifted Koz's wallet and Hap caught me do it. They needed some help later on and Koz thought I'd be the right girl for it. That's how I met both of them."

"I thought you were an old friend of Koz's, at least that you'd known him longer."

"No. But Hap went inside about a year later and he had Koz watch over me. That's part of it I guess."

It didn't seem like she wanted to talk about it. That was, of course, another thing Brooke had been nagging about; that Jo and Koz were way too close. The way Eden saw it was that if it didn't bother Hap, it shouldn't bother anyone else.

"I think you should get some rest, but make sure to stay in this sharing mood next time we're here," Melissa said. "I think it's the drugs." When she noticed Jo looking worried she shook her head. "Hey! No worries, we know how to shut up about stuff."

Eden leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Me and Melissa have this deal, we share and unload when we need it; but it stays between us. Not like our Old Men give a shit about bitch business anyway."

"I might need that."

"With that man you've got, I have no doubt." Melissa kissed her cheek as well. "Doesn't mean you're gossiping, you don't have to talk about him or what he says, just unload about what a fucking idiot he is sometimes and how he's driving you insane. Like when Lee left me outside the mall with six bags of groceries just cuz there was some shit at the club. Fuck, if I'd had a gun that time."

Eden laughed. She'd been the one who picked Melissa up that time and she was glad she hadn't had a gun.

"Best thing was, the food was for the clubhouse. Melissa had done all that shopping for a dinner, but he didn't remember that, just took off with the SUV."

Jo started laughing and shook her head. "Yeah, I've got a few of those stories as well. So I might absolutely need that."

They left Jo, promising that they'd be back soon again, and making sure that she knew if she needed anything, she should just call.

"I really like her," Melissa said once they were in the car. "And I think she might need some serious unloading sometimes. Remember two weeks ago, when Hap came to the clubhouse?"

Hap had walked in, looking extremely pissed, downed three shots of whiskey and then gone to his room. Jo had been there the next morning, giving people some nods before going back to the rooms as well. They'd walked out together two hours later, looking their usual selves. According to Bowie, what had happened hadn't been that unusual the first five years of their marriage either.

"Yeah, bet she would've needed some venting before going into that lion's den," Eden nodded. "And it's really a club service. If she'd called us, talked, she would've been there much sooner."

"Exactly. That's how I get some shit off my chest before facing Lee."

It was all between her and Melissa, they never talked to anyone else about those things. Whatever shit Melissa said about Lee, Eden didn't even share with Bowie, that's how they made it work. It was hardly stuff that had anything to do with the club. The fact that Melissa was being driven slowly insane by Lee leaving shit streaks in the toilet wasn't anything anyone needed to know. It was however something Melissa needed to vent now and then, and frankly, Eden doubted that Bowie even wanted to know that.

-o0o-

Happy hadn't been to the hospital yet that day, but he'd called in the morning to let Jo know they'd gotten a name from the bartender the night before. Four Sons walking in, and him with beat up hands, meant the bartender had given up any information they wanted, probably quickly.

He'd beaten up Vinsa, not enough according to him, but the guy had been a fucking pussy about it, curling up with his hands over his head. Even without his fuck up with Jo, Happy would never vote in a guy like that: Ever. Cage had been glaring at him all fucking day, he didn't give a shit. Cage should've known better than to sponsor a guy like Vinsa. It hadn't taken Happy all that long to figure out what Vinsa was like and Cage'd known the guy for years. The guy was a fucking coward, a complete pussy.

Melissa and Eden walked into the clubhouse and Hap noticed Melissa turning mid-step to walk towards him.

"Hey, we've been visiting your girl. She seems okay."

"Thanks." He knew she liked these two, so she was probably in a better mood now. She'd been a little pissy when he'd called in the morning, probably since she was bored.

"They're releasing her in a couple of days. We'll come over to you place if you're okay with that. Keep her company when you're not around."

"If she's okay with it, I'm okay with it," he shrugged.

"I think she's fully capable of telling us to go and fuck ourselves in a diplomatic way when she's fed up with us."

He nodded. "I'd say so."

"She's sleeping now, I think we wore her out."

He nodded, he'd wait a few hours, let her sleep, before he went there. He liked Melissa, Lee had made a good choice. Happy had actually liked Shelly, his ex-wife, as well. She had been good at keeping the other ladies in check. He knew that Jo hadn't been all that crazy about her, but even she admitted that Shelly'd been fair.

Happy hung around for a few hours before going to the hospital. Jo was reading when he walked into her room, but put down the book and gave him a big smile. After pulling the chair closer he sat down next to her bed.

"How are you?"

"Sore, but okay. They say I can go home soon if I just promise to take it easy."

He nodded and stroke her cheek. "What else did they say?"

"The baby is fine." She looked so uncomfortable. "I didn't know."

"I know." She was a lot of things, but she wasn't a coward. She would've told him if she even suspected anything. "I meant what I said in Charming. I'm backing you on whatever you decide."

"I still want to know what you want. I know what we said and what I said, but it's not just up to me."

"Yeah, it is." He gave her a kiss. "I took Koz, Bowie and Soza to the bar yesterday. We got a name and we're gonna find that guy."

"Sounds like a blast."

He laughed and shook his head. "We're trying to find out what happened to the other Old Ladies as well."

"Yeah. _That_ wasn't my fault."

"Not sure what the fuck is going on though and I don't like it." He looked at her. "You're gonna have to be careful."

"I know."

He took her hand and held it against his cheek. He was gonna watch over her like a fucking hawk and she'd hate it, but until they knew what the hell was going on, she was gonna take it easy. It would fucking kill him if he got her back just to lose her again. That wasn't happening.

"What happened to your hands?" She asked. When he looked up at her with a smile she shook her head. "The prospect? Is he alive?"

"Yeah." He leaned back on the chair. "Talk to me, baby."

"About what?"

"Anything, tell me a story."

"A story?" She smiled.

"Yeah. Anything, wanna hear a story and know you're okay."

He couldn't explain it, but Jo telling a story was something that assured him she was fine. She did that when she was in a good mood and was okay. So when she smiled, took his hand, and he could see her scan her head after something, he relaxed. She was fine.

"I could tell you about Franz Reichelt. He was an inventor and in 1912 he was gonna prove that his parachute worked by jumping of the Eiffel Tower."

He knew his wife. "I'm guessing it didn't work."

"No."

"Tell me about him," he laughed.

-o0o-

Joanna looked at Hap sitting next to her bed. He looked tired, really fucking tired. It wasn't all that strange since he'd spent every night with her at the hospital. He'd been there for hours this time and it didn't look like he was planning on leaving. She didn't want him to sit there and watch her sleep or for him to sleep in that uncomfortable chair.

"Baby, go home and sleep in the bed."

"No."

She got that. He wouldn't admit it since it was kind of pussy of him, but he didn't like to sleep in the apartment when she wasn't there.

"Then stay at the clubhouse for the night. You need a bed, by yourself, so you don't worry about hurting me." He didn't even answer her this time so she waved her finger to get him closer and ran her hand over his head which hadn't been shaved in a while. "Need to do something about this or people'll see how grey your hair is."

That did earn her a little smile and he took her wrist to move her hand from his hair.

"When are you getting home?"

"Day after tomorrow, probably."

"Does that mean you can stand up so we can talk about you not hustling anymore?"

"If you go home or to the clubhouse and sleep there for the next two nights, we'll talk about it."

"Okay."

"And we'll talk about me being pregnant as well and you'll tell me what you really want."

"Okay."

"Now, give me a kiss and tell me how much you love me before you leave me here." It was a long shot. He didn't usually do stuff like that, but she figured she'd been shot so it could work.

He stood up, leaned over the bed and gave her a kiss before leaning his forehead against hers. "I love you, you stubborn, sneaky fucking bitch."

"I love you too."

He gave her one more kiss and left. Once he was out, Joanna laid back down with a sigh. It wasn't all that fun to be alone and she liked having him there, but she needed some space. She needed the opportunity to think about a lot of things and he needed to sleep.

There was no way in hell she'd give up on her way of living. Hustling was who she was and this was the first big mistake she'd made in years. There was hardly any risk involved, especially with Hap insisting that someone keep an eye on her all the damn time. On the other hand she wouldn't be able to convince him about anything so she'd probably have to stay stubborn and ride that storm out.

A much more pressing thing was the pregnancy. She hadn't really expected to find herself in this situation. Now that she was, she half regretted telling Hap that it was her decision alone and having him promise to not butt in; especially since she now found herself wondering what he wanted. It was important to her, she didn't want to do something that would make him... hate her, or something.

-o0o-

Happy went back to the clubhouse. Soza and Kozik were still there and they agreed on spending the next day trying to track down the fuck who shot Jo. He would've wanted to go immediately, but he had to admit that Jo had been right. He was tired as fuck and when he was tired, he was very easily agitated; so he was gonna get a full night's sleep so he could take his time with that asshole.

Once he was in bed his mind started to wander and he suddenly realized that a kid meant it would be somewhat of a problem if he went Nomad. It wasn't fair to Jo to leave her with a kid. Leaving her in general wouldn't have been a problem. Jo liked to be alone and she'd never hassled him about him going on runs. He'd occasionally been away for weeks tracking down marks or whatever, it was all good with her. She was smart, if she needed help she turned to her brothers, not that it had happened all that many times, but she had. If Kozik wasn't around she turned to Bowie and next in line was Lee. They all knew that asking for help wasn't something she took lightly.

But leaving her with a kid... that was something else. A kid. Happy had never really pictured himself with a kid, but the last time they'd had a pregnancy scare, he'd realized that he wasn't all that against having one. At least not if it was with Jo. Jo had changed his mind about a lot of things. She hadn't changed him and had never even tried, but she had changed his mind about things. Like having an Old Lady, sharing things. He liked that, he could talk to her about anything, the most fucked up things and she never freaked out, never got scared, just took it for what it was and ran with it. It calmed him down, in a good way, made him more focused.

He picked up his phone and called the hospital. He'd made sure she had a phone in her room so she could call if something was off.

"_Hello."_

"Hey."

She laughed a little. "_Miss me already?"_

"Shouldn't have taken off on me, makes me want you close."

"_Never gonna let that go, are you?"_

"No." He wasn't really sure why he'd called. "All okay there?"

"_Yes."_ She was quiet for a few seconds too long before taking a deep breath. "_The doctor was here, they're going to do some tests tomorrow morning, some stuff... to... make sure everything is okay."_

He knew what the hesitation was about. "With the kid?"

"_Yes."_

"What time?"

"_They__'ll be __coming here around ten to pick me up."_

"I'll be there."

"_You don't have to."_

But he wanted to be there. "Baby, I'll be there."

"_Okay. Thank you."_ He heard her move around in the bed. "_Why did you really call?"_

"Can't I call my wife without a reason?"

"_Want me to get you off over the phone?"_

He laughed. "Too tired today. I'll call you tomorrow and you better give it a proper go."

"_I will. I bought you something last week. I was gonna give it to you when you got home that night I was shot."_

He felt the smile grow on his lips. Jo bought the best presents. "Does it vibrate?"

"_I do, on occasion, buy you presents that aren't for sex."_

"When?"

"_It has happened."_

"When?" He honestly couldn't remember that happening. She'd bought sexy underwear for herself as a present to him, but that was just to get sex as well. He wasn't complaining about those, as far as he was concerned, that was a present for him. "Say one thing that you've bought that we haven't used when we've fucked."

"_I pa__i__d for a tattoo."_

"I'm pretty sure you've nibbled or licked it while we've had sex at least once."

"_Probably. It __wasn't __for sex, it was for our anniversary."_

He wracked his brain for what fucking anniversary she was talking about. "That's nice."

He didn't fool her though and she laughed. "_It was our wedding anniversary. We've been married for nine years."_

"Fuck! I forgot."

"_I know. Don't worry about it, you wouldn't be you if you__'d__ remembered it. Besides, you'll feel bad about it and make me cum several times."_

"With the present?" He was still hoping. Or maybe she'd bought him a knife or a gun.

"_No, but we have stuff for that."_ They sure as shit did. His girl had bought some really nice stuff to keep herself satisfied while she was away and he was still looking forward to their trip to Berlin. "_Get some sleep and come here in the morning."_

"I will, you get some sleep too."

"_It's going to be so much easier when you're not snoring next to me."_

"Got no proof," he said and hung up with a smile.

He almost wished he'd gone home. Just looking in her box of toys would give him loads of ideas on how to punish her once she was in shape for it again.

* * *

_On february the 4th 1912, Franz Reichelt jumped off the Eiffel Tower to test his parachute suit. The permission was given under the condition that he did the tests with a dummy, but he was convinced that the suit would work. Unfortunately, it didn't. The jump was filmed and can be found on you tube, If you don't want to see the actual fall (that's filmed from afar, it's worth to see the beginning and what the suite looked like) and more information about him and his experiment can be found on Wikipedia._


	4. As Sure As Life Means Nothing

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_I'm sorry that I'm keeping you waiting for these stories. It's mostly that real life sometimes kicks in and I need to focus on those things. Still working on them though so don't despair. As always, thank you so much for your support and a special thank you to all the ladies who are such a big help in different ways._

_Also, I know I've been terrible at replying to reviews and I'm gonna try to remedy that! I still do love all of them and thank you so much._

* * *

**4. As Sure As Life Means Nothing**

_In every wolf pack there is at least one Omega wolf. That's the scapegoat, the last to feed. They still serve a purpose, they relieve the tension of the pack by being the recipient of the pack__'__s frustration and that alone makes them valuable._

_Humans aren't that different. In every group or situation we enter, it is always about proving oneself, __proving __your worth, value and purpose in the pack. How you do it varies, depending on the group or how you were supposed to fit into that group. If you can't do that.__..._

_Watching Happy beat up that prospect I knew it wasn't just about him getting back at the prospect for not looking after his Old Lady. It was just as much to prove the guy wasn't worthy__; a__nd Vinsa had lost that fight in more ways than one, curling up like a bitch didn't win you any favors and definitely no respect among these guys. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Vinsa was screwed. He still hobbled in the next morning, but no one paid him any notice._

_When he looked at me, I gave him a gloating smile and he win__c__ed. I owed him that. If I wasn't mistaken, this could be one of the last times I saw him, no__time like the present to rub shit in__ be__cause we both knew that in this group, the omegas were never men__. I__n this group the task of giving relief belonged to women__, s__o he no longer had any purpose._

-o0o-

Joanna was sitting in a wheelchair that Hap was pushing and even if she couldn't see him, she _knew_ that he was grinning about it. She could walk, but they wouldn't let her and he was having so much fun about it, she'd never hear the end of it.

They were on their way to check up on the... baby. She still had some problems with thinking about the pregnancy as a baby, as an actual being, but she knew that it was. It was a child. Their child.

A man in his late forties met her at the door with a big smile. He shook her hand and then Hap's before pointing at a gurney. She got herself out of the chair and laid down. The doctor was sitting on a stool with wheels, rolling around in the room with a big smile.

"I've met you before," he said while putting on his rubber gloves, "but you were sedated at the time. They called me in when they noticed you were pregnant."

"Okay," Joanna said and looked at Hap.

She didn't want to do the small talk thing. She was fully capable, of course, a fucking master at it, but she didn't want to do that now. The doc seemed to pick up on it.

"Since you're so early in the pregnancy, I'm going to do an internal ultrasound," he said and held up a stick.

"That looks like a g-spot dildo," Joanna said with a smile. Then she got it. "Hang on, internal?"

"Well," he cleared his throat and gave Hap a worried look. "It is inserted."

Joanna looked at Hap as well and took his hand before he got up and decked the doctor. It was a medical examination after all, but Hap normally wasn't all that keen on having doctors examine her there and that stick did look a lot like a dildo.

"Okay," she said and bent her knees.

Hap still looked pretty damn pissed. No matter what he said, that was his pissed face and not his worried face. She squeezed his hand to get him to look at her.

By the time her panties were off and the doctor had squirted lube on the 'dildo', Hap was bright red and she started to regret asking him to come with her. She really hoped he wasn't planning on looking between her legs when the doctor inserted the thing.

Luckily, he didn't. He was looking straight at the doctor, who was smart enough to avoid looking at her pussy and instead focused on a little monitor next to her.

"Look at that," he said with a smile. "That's a little champ you've got there. I'm just gonna check and make sure everything is okay and then I'll walk you through this."

She didn't want that, she didn't want to know things until... they'd decided on what to do.

"That's not necessary. Just let me know if it's... okay. That's all I need to know."

"You sure."

"Yes."

For the first time, Hap turned his attention from the doc to the screen. He didn't say anything, he didn't smile, but she could see his jaw tense, he didn't even squeeze her hand and she slowly turned her head towards the screen.

Joanna didn't see much, something blinking that she assumed was the heartbeat and again, she didn't want to see. Instead she looked at Hap who was still staring at the monitor. She felt the stick coming out of her and put her legs down again.

"It all looks good and it's doing just fine. We'll keep a close eye on it."

Joanna nodded and reached for her panties. While completely avoiding looking at Hap and instead focusing on her underwear, she asked the doc. "If... if we're not going to keep it?"

It got dead quiet and she looked up. The doctor gave Hap an uncertain eye, but now Hap was looking at her instead. It wasn't a mean look, not even angry, more... blank.

"I'll walk you through the different steps and options that you have," he said and sat down on a chair. "Whether you choose to keep it or not."

-o0o-

Happy walked into the clubhouse. He'd spent most of the day at the hospital. Once they were done with all the check ups and shit, the cops had been back. When they finally left, Brooke had turned up and he hadn't been about to leave Jo alone with her. She hated the bitch and after about thirty seconds he remembered why he didn't like her either.

Lee was there and was sitting next to Diaz, one of the oldest Tacoma members. He'd been in Vegas when Hap'd hooked up with Jo, but came back a while after they got married and had been there since. He'd admitted a while ago that he'd been very skeptical about Jo initially, but ended up at least respecting her and maybe even liking her a bit.

"How's your Old Lady?" he asked when Happy came closer.

"Fine, coming home tomorrow."

"She looked fine, bit pale, but she's usually pretty damn pale," Diaz said.

Happy stared at him. "Didn't know you visited."

"Was at the hospital to have a finger shoved up my ass. They need to keep an eye on that prostate. So I dropped by."

"I know there's a lot of shit going on, but I just want to remind you that some of the Redwood crew are coming this weekend," Lee said.

"I remember."

Tig was coming as well. Koz wasn't crazy about that idea, but when the mother charter's members came, they were welcome. Lee had called them, mainly since he wanted Juice's help to check into some things. No one did searches the way Juice did, he could get into data bases most people didn't even know existed. Since stuff was calm in Charming, they came up to help, as a thank you for Tacoma always heeding their calls.

It wasn't just the attacks on the Old Ladies. Things were stirring under the surface and they had picked up on it. Things were off, contacts were behaving weird and they needed to make sure they were on top of things and knew what the fuck was going on in their own town.

As usual, Happy was staying out of this bit. He'd be there, he'd listen, but he'd stay out of it until someone told him where to shoot, bomb or just generally break some necks, that was his job and he liked it.

"Get some sleep," Diaz said with a laugh. "Looks like you need it."

"Yeah, I'm picking her up in the morning. I'll be here on Wednesday."

"No you won't," Lee laughed. "Take care of your Old Lady and come here for church on Friday. I don't wanna see your face here before then."

"Thanks."

He didn't get to sleep long. Bowie called, they'd found the guy.

-o0o-

Soza was standing by his bike outside a warehouse down at Tacoma Port. It had taken him and Bowie less than ten hours to track that fuck down. Frederic Marsden, 27 years old with a few priors for possession, and soon to be very dead. Hap was sure to go medieval on the fucker.

He heard the two bikes and watched as they pulled up. Hap was off the bike in seconds, picking up his saddlebags with a very unnerving grin.

"He in there?" Koz asked.

"Yeah." Soza looked at Hap. "He's jonesing, so start off easy or you'll give him a fucking heart attack and spoil the fun of a long torture."

Hap nodded and they walked inside. He took one look at the guy and came to the conclusion Soza had, he was out of it. Mr. Marsden was lying, tied up on the floor, screaming about bugs under his skin and itches. Hap turned around and looked at Bowie.

"Get him something. I want him clear when I do this."

Bowie didn't question it, just nodded and left. If anyone knew what kind of drug that would make this idiot snap out of this, it was Bowie. Hap went outside as well and Soza followed him, leaving Koz behind to keep an eye on Fred. He had to ask hap.

"Why? I mean, I kind of get it, but is it just so he'll know what you're doing?"

"I wanna get some answers out of him as well and it don't look like he can give me any."

"Answers?"

"Yeah, if it really was just about being hustled." Then Hap's lips turned into that smile that used to scare Soza senseless. Looking at him he realized, it still sort of did. "And I want the fucker to stay alert while I slash him up."

That's when Soza really got it. Even if Jo seemed convinced this was her own fault, Hap wasn't and he wanted to make sure. If it was something about the Old Ladies as well, that shivering, rambling idiot tied up inside was the best lead they had. He wondered why no one else had thought about it. Or maybe they had.

"Did Lee ask you to do that?"

"He didn't have to. I know how this works. S'probably nothing, better to make sure, though."

It took Bowie less than half an hour to get back. Not long after that, Frederic Marsden was clear as a whistle, now hanging from the ceiling, and looking fucking terrified. Hap pulled off his cut, put on some gloves and covers and then walked up to stand right in front of Frederic.

"Remember that woman you shot?" He asked while cutting the sweatshirt off him.

"I-I-I don't know what you're talking about."

"Tiny, black hair, hustled you at pool. Ring any bells?" Hap looked intensely at the guy who was actually starting to shiver. "She's my wife. And since you taught her a lesson, I thought I'd teach you how to really give lessons. First some rules; no begging and answer my questions. Don't even open your mouth unless I ask you a question."

"P-p-please..."

Hap reached up and broke the guy's index finger on his right hand.

"He really hates begging," Koz mumbled next to Soza.

"What?"

"He doesn't like men who beg. Thinks they're pussies."

When Frederic stopped screaming, Koz pointed at him to indicate that they should shut up and listen. Hap grabbed the guy's cheeks and looked him in the eyes, he was still sniveling, but was quiet.

"No begging. Why did you shoot her?"

"I needed the money, man," he sniveled. "I had shakes, I needed the money."

Hap rolled out his bag of goodies and looked at Frederic while holding a pair of pliers. "You're going to tell me everything."

Hap worked on the guy for an hour. He'd scoped Jo out at the bar and thought she'd been easy prey. Since he'd needed money bad, knowing he was about to go into withdrawal, he'd taken a chance. She'd cleaned him out and he'd followed her. Soza was pretty sure that the fact that a drug addict on his way into serious withdrawal had been able to follow Jo without Vinsa noticing wasn't something that helped Vinsa's case. Although he didn't think there was much that could help Vinsa's case.

The guy had also cheated on two of his girlfriends, sold sex for money the last few months to afford drugs and cheated at a math test in high school. In other words, Hap really pushed the guy to make sure that this had nothing to do with the other Old Ladies. Then, looking at the bloody pile that hardly resembled a person anymore, he asked the question. Just to make sure.

"Did anyone tell you to go after her, to try to hustle her?"

"No..." he cried. He could barely speak. "She looked... like an easy... target."

Hap looked up at Koz who shook his head. "If you're done playing, finish him, he doesn't know shit."

Hap nodded, took one of the knives and cut the guy's throat without saying anything. In general, he hadn't said much, just short questions. Soza'd heard about Hap's techniques, he'd even seen some of it, but not like this. He assumed it was because this was personal.

Hap went to the sink in the corner of the room and threw all his tools in it before pouring bleach over them. He put the covers and gloves he'd been wearing in an oil barrel. Koz and Bowie picked up everything but the body and threw it all into the same barrel before dousing it all with diesel and setting it on fire. No one spoke, they all knew what to do. Soza just kept watching, he wasn't sure if he should help and if he did, with what? So he stood there, in silence.

"Hey, Soza, get me those plastic bags," Koz said, so he did.

Three hours later, around 2 a.m., they walked into the clubhouse. Hap disappeared into his room and then came back out with new clothes and boots.

"Going to peanut?" Koz asked and when Hap nodded he threw a, "Say 'hi' from me," after him.

Soza emptied his glass and went to bed. He should feel bad about what he'd seen, at least a bit sick, or something; but he didn't. That fucker had hurt one of them, he'd gotten what he deserved.

-o0o-

Joanna woke up in the middle of the night when she felt Hap slipping into her bed.

"I told you to sleep at the clubhouse," she mumbled, just barely awake, but she still cuddled closer to him.

"And I've told _you_; you can't tell me what to do." He put his arm around her to carefully pull her even closer. "Warm your feet, baby."

"It's not as comfortable when you're wearing jeans."

"I'm not taking my jeans off here."

"I know." She took a deep breath and pushed closer to him, rubbing her behind and back against him. She was starting to wake up. "We need to talk about it."

He was quiet for a long time, a sign that he knew perfectly well what she meant by 'it'. She felt him bury his nose into her hair and take a deep breath.

"I meant what I said, it's up to you, I'm not fucking this up again."

"I still want to know what you want."

It was important to her and that scared her. It scared her because she wasn't sure why it was so important.

There was another long silence. "I want it."

"Even if I keep hustling?"

"Peanut, I'm not making deals with our kid. That's not going to happen. We keep it or we don't, no fucking deals."

"That wasn't what I meant. I meant, would you still want to keep it if I kept hustling? Knowing the risks."

She didn't have to turn around to know that his jaw was so tense that the muscles probably stood out like wings. Joanna was holding her breath while waiting for the explosion, but he surprised her by hugging her closer and kissing her neck.

"You're not going to keep hustling and you're gonna stay at home, all pregnant, and take care of the house for me." He almost managed to say it in a serious tone, but he huffed at the end.

"Do you require regular blow jobs with that?"

"Obviously." He kissed her neck again. "A lot of anal sex as well."

"Obviously." She took his hand and kissed it. "What happens if I still decide that I don't want to keep it?"

"All of the above, but you won't be all pregnant," he mumbled into her hair.

"And we'll be okay?"

"Yes." He carefully pulled her hair. "I promise, I won't get drunk and..."

"I was more scared you'd go crazy, fuck some sweetbutts and then throw me out of the apartment."

That actually made him laugh out loud. "I've tried fucking sweetbutts to get over you, it didn't work."

"Not even a little?"

"No. Baby, don't worry, it's you and me. If we keep the baby, it's you and me and a baby. If not, it's still you and me."

That made her strangely calm. Hap was usually shit with words, and he put things as simply as possible, so what he was saying was simply that it was the two of them, no matter what.

"Do you really think we can do it? Be parents?"

"Sure. How hard can it be?"

That made her laugh until he kissed her neck. "Pretty fucking hard, I'd say."

"Peanut. We have time, you don't have to decide yet. The doc said you've got weeks." He hugged her tight. "And I know it means we're gonna have to change things. We're gonna have to do things differently than we'd thought we would. But, baby, it's up to you. I'll back you, I promise and I won't be pissed if you decide you don't want to do this."

Hap was a lot of things, when he was pissed he let you know it, but that was a part of him, always being honest; so if he said that to her, he meant it. He really did. So now she knew where he stood, she just needed to figure out where she stood.

"I was thinking about going to visit your mom."

"Wanna get out of my way to decide in peace?"

"Maybe a little, but I know you won't bug me about it and I wanna visit her. Maybe go by L.A to see Marco."

"Don't tell her until you're sure. She'd kill you _and_ me if she finds out we're thinking about not keeping a baby."

She tried to turn around, but remembered it'd mean she'd be on her bad shoulder. He understood what she was doing and simply rolled over and took her with him so she could face him.

"You're not thinking about that," she said with a hand on his chest.

He took her chin and made her look at him. "Like I said, It's you and me, shit we do, we do together. You know that. We talk at home but we're a unit out front."

"I love you."

"I know." He hugged her even closer and when he accidentally pressed on her wound she whimpered. "Fuck, you okay?"

"I'm fine." She was a bit annoyed, he'd been about to say something and she felt it was important. "What were you going to say?"

"I found that guy."

She should've known that's why he'd come here in the middle of the night. He needed her to know and to be okay with it. She was, it was actually her first thought after being shot, that Hap would have a field day with the guy and for a second she felt a bit sorry for him.

"Did you find out what you needed to?"

"Yeah."

She took a deep breath. "So I'm guessing you took your time."

"Yes. Shoot my wife and you better prepare yourself for dying slow. Still love me?"

"You know I do."

"Yes. I know you do because you're a crazy bitch."

"I'm your crazy bitch," she mumbled against his chest. She fucking loved him to death, it felt insane sometimes.

"Damn right you are. Got to sleep my crazy bitch."

"Are you going to stay here?"

"A while and I'll come and pick you up tomorrow."

"In a cage?"

"Don't think you'll be able to ride. Now shut the fuck up." He gave her forehead a kiss and she closed her eyes, feeling safe when he was there.


	5. And All Things End in Nothing

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_Sorry to keep you all waiting for these stories. Just a lot of things going on at the moment, but all that time I've been nagging about is finally around the corner! So I should be able to finish these stories soon. This also means I'm having a hard time replying to all your reviews, but I do promise that I'll reply if you have a question. I'll get back to replying to them all soon as well. Just around the corner..._

_A huge thank you to __**MuckyShroom**__, my very patient beta, and the ladies in the Freak Circle for always making me laugh and feel better about stuff. Thank you!_

_**And yes, it's the same AN as in the other stories, it just sums up the situation properly and I'm not sure I have the same readers on all of them... Two more days of work...**_

* * *

******5: And All Things End in Nothing**

-o0o-

_My father once told me a story about a man living by the sea who loved seagulls. Every morning he went to the seaside to play with them, they came to him in hundreds and never flew away. His father asked him to catch a few so he could play with him too, but the next morning when he went to the seaside the seagulls didn't come to him._

_My father then told me that one may try, but it's not possible to hide one's inner thoughts. Even birds and animals can sense one's true feelings. I'm not saying he was wrong, but sometimes we believe what we chose to believe. Or rather; what we hope is true. We ignore all the signs warning us of danger when we reach for what we thing is a better future. We believe that any other future than must be better than the future we see before us._

_That's just because we sometimes have to experience true horror to know it's real._

-o0o-

Kozik banged on Hap's door and kicked it open the next second without waiting for a reply. Hap rarely locked his door, very few were suicidal enough to just walk in without waiting for an invitation. As long as Jo loved him, Kozik felt fairly safe.

"What the fuck!" Hap yelled and threw a bottle in his direction.

He dodged it and completely ignored the greeting. "Did you clean the apartment?"

"What?"

"Your apartment. We're picking up Jo today, so did you clean the apartment?"

"Yeah," Hap said as he sat up and rubbed his face and head. "Eden and Melissa made sure it was done. Is that why you ran in here?"

"Making sure you're alone," Kozik said with a smile. "She asked me too."

"Bullshit." Hap grabbed his jeans and pulled them on.

"Yeah. It's bull."

He sat down in a chair to wait while Hap got ready. "I'm bored and on edge. Shit's going down and we're outside the hot zone. Can't sleep when I feel like that."

"We'll deal with that."

"Guess you got warmed up by taking care of that guy who shot Peanut." Kozik was still in the chair, when he looked up he shook his head. Hap had that creepy expesion going. "That's really fucking creepy, you know that, right?"

"What?" Happy said while strapping on his knife.

"You, making that face when I mention the guy who shot..." Pointing at Hap, he nodded. "That's the face. Did you tell Jo?"

"Yeah."

"And what did she say?" Kozik sighed when Hap did the creepy face again. "You don't have to answer that, you did that scary face so I'm guessing she took it in the regular Jo way?"

"She didn't say much."

When he'd heard Jo's story, where she was from and about her childhood going through the system, he finally got why she was so okay with Hap and what he was. She'd seen the worst in people, so it wasn't all that easy to shock her. Her sentiment was that Hap at least did it for the club and people he believed in, not just to be cruel. Kozik wasn't completely sure that was the full explanation of how Hap's mind worked, but he'd never argued with her about it.

"Just that creepy smile, eh?"

Hap shrugged and when his t-shirt was on he reached for his cut. "Why are you really here?"

"Thought we'd buy some shit for your house. Like food." He really wasn't sure if that was necessary. Jo couldn't cook for shit and he doubted that Hap bothered that often either. "You know you missed the anniversary?"

He'd lost a bet on that one. Jo had been sure he would, but Kozik had thought Hap would remember it now that she was back. He'd never remembered it before, but he'd been piss drunk on the anniversaries she missed so Kozik had thought there at least was a chance.

"Yeah." He didn't even seem ashamed. "She said she bought me something."

"I know." Kozik got up from the chair. "Want some help with your gift?"

"Do you know what she bought me?"

"Yeah."

"Then yeah, I want some help."

Hap wasn't the best when it came to buying gifts and Kozik didn't mind helping him. "Sure. Buy me breakfast and I'll help you."

"Tell me she bought me a knife. Or a gun. I could use another gun."

"No. She didn't buy you a fucking weapon. Jesus!"

Hap muttered something as they walked out. Kozik just shook his head. Jo would never have bought him a weapon. She hated weapons and she wouldn't know what to buy anyway.

-o0o-

Joanna was on pins and needles, she really wanted to go home. There was still some pain, but it wasn't bad. They kept telling her how lucky she was and she had heard enough of that. It wasn't much to comment on considering it was the first time ever she had been lucky, in any way. Okay, maybe second. She was pretty damn lucky to have found Hap, despite the shit in their past.

It wasn't one of the things she wanted to think about at the moment. Especially since the reason they'd ended up in that position that time was that she _thought _she was pregnant and this time she _was_ pregnant.

He finally walked in with a wheelchair in front of him. She stared at it.

"I'm not sitting in that."

"No choice, Peanut," he said with a sadistic smile. "Hospital policy."

"I hate you," she said as she sat down in it.

When he wheeled her out of the room, Kozik and Bowie were waiting and they both laughed when they saw her. She turned to Hap again.

"I really do hate you right now."

"Not my fault," he grinned. He loved this!

"Bet you could've gotten me out of it with one of those evil looks."

"He didn't even try," Kozik said. "Just took it with a big, friendly smile."

"Friendly smile?" She turned again and tried to kill Hap with just a look. "Bet that was a first."

"Sure was," Bowie nodded. "I thought I was tripping."

The next time she turned around, Hap grabbed the top of her head and turned it forward. "Gonna pull some stitches if you keep twisting like that."

Once they were out of the hospital Kozik took her arm and got her up, leading her towards the car. He gave her cheek a kiss before opening the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Peanut."

She looked at Bowie. "You're not coming with us."

He gave her a hug. "No." With a whisper he added. "Your Old Man would never admit it, but he wants you alone. He's been very off with you in the hospital."

Joanna gave them both a kiss and then got into the car. Hap climbed in just after her.

"When do you have to be at the club?" She assumed they had a lot of things going on.

"On Friday."

"Friday?"

"Lee said he didn't want to see my face until then."

"He wanted you to take care of me?" She couldn't help giggling.

"Yes."

"Does he know that we go crazy at each other if we're stuck together like that?"

"No," he said with a big smile. "You know the only one who knows shit like that is Koz."

"You can take some rides or something," she said, trying to sound understanding, but then she started to laugh. They were not good stuck together and he'd probably try to be all caring and she didn't react well to that. It had been one thing at the hospital, but even there she'd sent him off a few times. "I can take care of myself."

"I know. We'll be fine." He turned and looked at her. "Got my present at home?"

"Yes. Did Kozik help you buy one for me?"

"Yup. You'll like it."

"Does it vibrate?"

"No."

"Is the place cleaned up." She really wasn't up for going there and seeing her own blood. She didn't think it was that likely. Hap was the same as her with mess, but she wanted to make sure.

"Melissa and Eden did. Bought you some flowers and shit." He looked at her. "You okay with going back there?"

"Sure."

She got what he really meant. If she was okay with going back to where she'd been shot. That stuff didn't bother her though. It was their place. No one would take their place from them. That wasn't the reason she was worried and she knew that if she was worried, he'd know it too.

It was the talk about hustling she was dreading. Truth was, she loved hustling and pickpocketing. She loved the rush when she realized that she had her marks exactly where she wanted them, when she grabbed the pile of money. She loved sitting at a place, scoping it out. If there weren't any good marks, she picked some pockets before heading out. She basically loved being really fucking good at something, and that was pretty much the only thing she was really fucking good at. She wasn't keen on giving that up. By her calculations she had about ten more minutes to figure out how to convince him.

-o0o-

Happy reached out his hand for Jo when the lift stopped at their floor, but she glared at him. She was probably still pissed about the wheelchair.

"I can walk you know. It doesn't hurt that much."

"Good, then we can talk about you not hustling anymore."

"It still hurts a bit," she said in a whining voice as he unlocked the door.

"I hope you have a better game face when you're hustling, baby."

"Obviously not," she said and pointed towards the shoulder with the gunshot wound.

He had been so determined to get her to stop hustling, but now he wasn't so sure anymore. He could probably forcer her, he was actually pretty sure he could get her to do whatever the hell he wanted too, if he made a real effort, but he wasn't sure he'd be willing to pay the price.

Happy needed her safe, it drove him insane sometimes that she put her herself at risk the way she did sometimes, but it was part of who she was. And then Koz had to open his fucking mouth. They were buying her a present and when Hap had found what he wanted to buy, Koz had said it was perfect for the little thief and hustler. He'd realized then that it was what she was, and part of why he'd fallen for her to begin with.

He followed her inside and she sat down on the couch with a sigh.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine." She pointed towards the bedroom. "Your gift is in the top drawer. It's a small box."

It didn't take him long to find it. He took her gift from his pocket and went out to her again.

"You open mine first since I actually remembered our anniversary," she said looking eager.

Jo loved giving gifts a lot more than she loved getting them, so he nodded and sat down next to her. It looked like a jewelry box and it was. When he opened it, he saw a ring and laughed. It was an eight ball ring in gold.

"Late wedding band?" He asked and looked at Jo. They'd never had one, it hadn't mattered at the time, it still didn't, even if he sometimes wished that she had one. It would be a more visible mark on her than the tattoo that pretty much only he saw.

She nodded with a smile. "But this is like an undercover wedding band, it can look like just a cool fucking ring. At the same time it's very me."

He leaned forward and kissed her. "It's very you."

"There's an inscription."

He looked inside and laughed when he saw it, it wasn't her name or some silly fucking word like "forever". It said 'Pacta Sunt Servanda'. He knew it was Latin for 'agreements must be kept'. He liked that.

"It's very you," he said again and gave her a kiss. He put it on the ring finger on his left hand and gave her another kiss. "Very us. I like it. Can I get you a wedding ring now? A big one, with diamonds and shit." She gave him her best stink eye. "I want you to have one."

"Okay," Jo took her present and started to open it. "Can I pick it out myself?"

"No." He was choosing what ring to put on her, not her, since it was his mark on her just like the ink.

"Can it please not be something huge with the reaper and black diamonds?"

"It'll be whatever I pick."

She finished opening her present and then pulled out the pendant he'd chosen, this time actually without help from Kozik. He'd picked a completely different one, but agreed that this one had been better.

"It's Saint Nicholas," she said with big eyes.

"I know. I bought it." He looked at her. "Like it?"

"Yes," she handed it to him. "Put it on."

"Thought my little thief wife needed some protection."

"I'm just pickpocketing a little, to keep up the skill."

"Still a thief," he said and pulled her into his lap. "And a hustler."

"I can't just stop doing it, Hap."

He nodded and held her closer. "You're not ever fucking going alone again."

"Okay."

"And you cut down and you're not doing it if I'm not in town. You call me when you leave and I'll pick you up. If I can't do it, you call someone else. You're never fucking alone."

"Okay."

He was pleased that she'd agreed. "And you do what I tell you to fucking do."

"About everything or just this?"

"I'd say everything, but I don't think you'll agree."

"No," she said and moved around to face him, straddling him and she caressed his face. "I love you and I'm sorry for freaking you out."

He grabbed ahold of her hips. "Better make it up to me when you're in shape for it."

"I will."

"The girls will be here to keep you company and Charming are coming up on Friday. Tig wanted to see you."

"I'll make an appearance."

He knew that was the best he'd get from her. She wouldn't stop, not in a million years and trying to force her would just mean she'd do it in secret and this was better. This way he'd be able to keep an eye on her.

"And you're staying low for now. There's shit going on and I want you out of the way. That okay?"

"That's okay." She said with a smile, still holding on to his cheeks. "Did I tell you that I love you?"

"You did," he answered and grabbed her ass, pressing his growing boner against her. "You're more than a fucking handful, but I love you too."

She leaned towards him, stroked his nose with hers. "Might not be up for a proper one, but I'd like a quickie."

He stroked her throat and down her chest. As he did the ring she'd just given him caught his eye. He grabbed her shirt and pulled her closer.

"Won't be a quickie, but I'll take it easy."

-o0o-

Joanna looked at Hap sleeping next to her and stroked his cheek. He stirred in his sleep and turned over putting his back towards her. She put her arm around his waist, pressed her nose between his shoulder blades and inhaled deeply. He smelled like him, like he'd always done, she closed her eyes.

It had been good, being back here, with him. They'd gotten along, just some minor fights, nothing big. Going back to living with Hap had been like riding a bike, they'd slipped right into their old ways and she'd liked those. This, being shot, hadn't ruined anything. So far neither had getting pregnant either. She hoped it stayed that way. The talk about her hustling had gone fine too.

She moved even closer and got under his cover to press up against him. He was warm, as usual and he groaned a little when she pressed her cold feet against his calves.

Joanna knew that his major concern was to keep her safe, it wasn't to control her or make sure she turned into something she wasn't. If that had been the case he'd have been on her about the hustling years ago. He'd only made her stop pickpocketing after she'd gotten into some trouble while he was locked up. She'd still done it, on occasion and she knew that he knew, and the other way around. They'd just been pretending that she wasn't doing it to keep the peace. He understood that she couldn't just let go of it, the same way she understood what the club and riding meant to him and that it was a part of him that she had to accept. She loved him and that meant loving all of him. Loving all of him meant loving the club as well. He knew it was the same with her and what she did, he'd just been scared.

It hadn't been until she was really back with him, like this, in their own apartment that she fully understood how much she'd missed him when she was away.

She tried to move even closer to him with the result that he grunted then turned around and half smothered her against his chest.

"Needy little bitch," he mumbled and kissed the top of her head. "Cold?"

"A little."

"Turn around."

She did and pushed her feet between his thighs, then she closed her eyes. It didn't take her long to fall asleep.


	6. And Heaven I Think

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_I think I've managed to reply to most reviews. I know there are some left and I'm getting to those today. I'm also working on the next chapter of 'Long Gone Blues' so that'll be up soon as well. I know that's the one most of you wanted me to get to first so just wanted to let you know that it's on ins way as well._

* * *

**6. And Heaven I Think**

___A woman once told me that getting a beating was a sign that she was still alive. As far as I could tell at the time, even thinking that was a sign that the very core of her was already gone. I know now that I was wrong. The very core of ourselves is the last thing we lose and it's what we fight to protect. What we fight for when we refuse to give up and even when we do things that we once would be ashamed of doing. Human beings would do almost anything to survive. The survival instinct, self-preservation, is what ensures the survival of an organism. It's imprinted in our DNA._

___Pain and fear are two of the most important parts of it and even the most simple organisms 'feel' the pressure to evolve and live on._

___In some cases, the self-preservation involves a group, a tribe, a pack or a hive. Like ants. Warrior ants can attack threats in a suicidal manner to protect the hive. The collective._

___Humans aren't ants._

_-o0o-_

"Me and Bowie talked about Sadomasochism yesterday," Eden said. When she realized what she'd just said she turned to Jo and Mel who looked at her with amused expressions. "It's not what you think..." she tried.

"Really?" Mel said with a smirk. "Do tell me what it was then."

Jo laughed and grabbed a fistful of popcorn.

"No! We were... Fuck, it doesn't matter. The thing was Sado comes from Marquis de Sade, I know that, but we didn't know where Masochism comes from." She looked at Jo. "He said you probably knew."

"Why would she know that?" Mel asked. "And what's more interesting, were you tied up when the topic of conversation came up?"

"No," Eden tried to look innocent. She hadn't been when they started talking about it, but she'd been tied up not long before that. "And I'm asking Jo 'cuz Bowie said she knew loads of stuff about different things."

Bowie had also told her about Jo's stories, that they could give her any subject and she knew some sort of story about it. According to him it was because of her hustling, that it helped to have random, but still interesting things to talk about when she led her marks on and kept them playing.

"It's from an Austrian writer called Leopold von Sacher-Masoch," Jo said with a smile. "He fell in love with a woman called Wanda. She didn't want to marry him but they made a deal that she was gonna wear furs while whipping him and he'd be her slave."

"You kidding me?" Mel asked.

"Nope," Jo shook her head. "She called him Gregor. In Austria it was a name that was associated with servants. He wrote a book called 'Venus in Furs' that was inspired by his life and described his need of dominance. A psychiatrist called Kraft-Ebing later diagnosed it and called it Masochism."

"Leopold," Eden said with a laugh. "Gonna have to tell Bowie about that. A lot of words come from actual people don't they?"

"Yeah, eponyms," Jo shrugged. "Silhouette, lynching, boycott, cardigan, nicotine, sandwich, chauvinism, hooligan, quisling... it's a pretty long list."

"And you know them?" Mel asked.

"It's a good way to start a conversation," Jo smiled and picked up her tea cup. She was the one who had suggested tea and popcorn. It was actually a pretty good combination. "A person uses a word and you explain where it comes from. Voila, you're halfway there."

"Quisling?" Eden had to ask. She'd never heard of that word and even if she felt a bit stupid admitting it, she was curious.

"Basically means traitor," Jo sat up straighter and rolled her shoulders. "Comes from a Norwegian politician who's last name was Quisling. He seized power in Norway with the help of the Nazi's during the second world war."

"What happened to him?" Eden asked.

"He was executed by firing squad after the war."

"Damn," Mel said with a laugh. "I'm gonna have to come with you and watch you work those guys. It has to be something."

Eden loved that idea. "We could go as a team, you'd look like you were just out with the gals and then rob them blind!"

She didn't think Bowie'd agree to it, maybe if they took some of the prospects undercover though. She really wanted to see Jo in action; and at the moment, she could clearly see Jo's mind working. If they were lucky, she'd let them come.

"Do they usually get pissed when you scam them?" She asked.

"Scamming a man out of his money is easy. Scamming him out of his money and having him like it, that's an art." Jo looked down at her hands. "My... mentor taught me that. That there was never any need to be a bitch about it. I slip sometimes." Now she looked up and smiled. "Still do, I blame it on PMS, but it's usually that I don't like the guy."

Eden definitely wanted to see Jo work. "So can we come?"

"Ask your Old Men. After my latest slip they might not be very willing to let you go anywhere with me."

"Bet they would if we had someone watching over us," Mel said and picked up her tea cup with a sly smile. "I'll talk to Lee as well."

"Just make sure they're not all coming. No way anyone would even get close to me if they did."

Eden had to give her a point for that. Whenever they were out in the public with most of the guys, no other men even looked at them; so trying to hustle someone would probably be impossible. When she'd just hooked up with Bowie the two of them, and three of the other guys, had gone to a pub, it had been fascinating to her and a bit scary. Some other bikers had come in, noticed them and walked over to introduce themselves. Bowie had said it was to show respect. They'd done it to her too, been polite, but nothing even close to flirting. When she'd asked what that was about he shrugged.

"They assumed you were someone's Old Lady."

That was the first time she'd heard the term and later that night he'd explained more about it. Four months later he'd told her he wanted her to have his ink.

-o0o-

Lee laughed when he saw Hap walking into the clubhouse.

"Thought I told you I didn't want to see you face here until tomorrow."

"Your Old Lady and Eden came over." He took a beer. "Loads of bitch talk flying around so I took off."

"Smart man," Bowie nodded. "Those two can freak me out. You know, last night they talked for forty five minutes about shoes. I clocked 'em. Forty five minutes! Only reason it stopped was 'cuz I got the hell out."

Lee laughed again. Bowie was right, the two of them could talk for hours about really stupid things. He didn't mind as long as Mel talked about all that with someone other than him.

"Heard the cops came by again," Tantra said.

Koz had told them that the cops had stopped by the day before to question Jo again. Said she'd played the perfect, slightly traumatized woman.

"Yeah. Wanted to ask her more questions."

"They probably think it's on you that she got hurt," Lee said.

"That or they think I did it." He turned around and looked over the bar. "They won't find shit and I got an alibi, so they'll drop that soon."

"I'm not worried." Jo and her ability to keep the cops off her back was the least of his worries. She'd been doing that since her early teens and there were more pressing things that needed his attention. "Melissa said she was gonna visit your mom."

"Yeah."

"Should send her with the Redwood guys. That way she won't be alone on her way down."

Hap seemed to like the idea. "They here for a week?"

"Til wednesday. Talk to Clay, I'm sure he'll be fine with it."

"I will. Thanks."

"Better than sending her with a prospect." He smiled. "Although Wood might be free for it."

"Not gonna happen."

Hap went over to a table and sat down next to Koz. A while later Brook came over and sat down next to them. Lee shook his head. That was one stupid bitch. She was still going on about Jo damaging the club, but if she really thought she'd get away with badmouthing Jo in front of Hap she was an idiot. He wouldn't say anything to her though.

He looked at them and nudged Bowie in the ribs. "Wha'd'ya think?"

"Think he's gonna give her the look and say a few well chosen words to Cage."

Lee nodded. "Won't bet against you on that."

Hap had been in the club long enough to know how shit worked and even if Cage was a fairly new member, he knew it too. So if Hap felt that Brooke was disrespecting him, he'd let Cage know and it was Cage who had to set her straight. It was up to the Old Men to make sure their Old Ladies followed the rules.

When he was a new member, one of the Old Ladies had had a nasty habit of interrupting conversations. The president at the time, Terry, had warned her Old Man, French, a number of times. When she kept doing it, he beat the member up. French hadn't even questioned it and the next time his Old Lady butted into a conversation he dragged her out. They didn't see her for weeks after that.

The Old Ladies quickly learned the rules, if they followed them and were respectful, they got the respect from the other members as well. It was that simple. Just like no hangaround would get anywhere if they didn't know their place, neither would an Old Lady with a big mouth and a nasty attitude.

He noticed Hap looking at Brooke, she looked stunned and then got up and walked away.

"That would've been the look."

Hap emptied his beer and on his way out he halted in front of Cage, said something and then was gone. Cage scanned the room and when he saw Brooke, he walked over, grabbed her and hauled her to the dorms.

"Glad I didn't bet against you," Lee said to Bowie who chuckled.

"Got no idea what that stupid bitch is doing, but she's gonna be out on her ass if she doesn't stop."

They didn't talk about Brooke after that. Half an hour later Mel walked in, came up to him and gave him a kiss.

"We staying here or at home tonight?"

"Here," he mumbled and grabbed her ass. "What's with the tricky face?"

"What are the chances that I can follow Jo and watch her hustle?"

He froze, leaned back and stared at Mel. "You shitting me?"

"No. I'd like to see it."

"Don't think that's an issue at the moment. Hap's not gonna let her out 'til she's healed."

"And then."

"And then we'll talk again." He gave her a kiss. "Now go and wait for me, I'll be there in a sec."

He watched her leave. 'Watch Jo hustle'. Obviously they hadn't been talking about shoes this time around.

-o0o-

When Happy came home, Dirty Dru was sitting in his kitchen, but got up when he saw him, swallowing his sandwich in a big gulp. "She said it was okay if I ate something."

"Where is she?"

"I-I-I think she's sleeping." He pointed out towards the living room. "She went into the bedroom."

"Get lost."

"Sure," he said and disappeared.

Happy went into the bathroom for a shower. He was still pissed about Brooke and her big fucking mouth. She'd basically said that she couldn't believe that Jo was putting the club at risk. That she'd be thrown out so fast if she did the same thing. If Hap had bothered to talk to her he would've told her it was because she was a stupid bitch who couldn't hustle a TV off a blind man; but he didn't, generally he avoided talking to her all together. He'd warned Cage though, that he needed to put a leash on his old lady.

Jo was sleeping, he got into bed behind her. "Hey, baby."

"Hi," she said and turned around. "Did you send the prospect home?"

"Yeah." He put an arm around her. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she mumbled into his chest. "Why are you all tense?"

"Nothin'. Go back to sleep."

He combed his fingers through her hair. She seemed to be letting it grow out again and he liked that. She hugged him closer.

"The 'nothing' that's not bothering you is making you all stiff and I can't sleep next to you when you're like that.," she said and gave his chest a kiss and a nibble.

"It's nothin'. Brooke bothered me."

"Bet that worked in her favor," Jo giggled. "Love you."

He laughed as well and kissed the top of her head. "I'm sending you to mom with the Redwood guys. Don't want you alone on the road."

"Okay. When are they leaving?"

"Wednesday."

"Sounds good. I'll call your mom tomorrow."

"Got to sleep now. Don't want you to fall over tomorrow at the clubhouse while you're hustling Tig."

-o0o-

It was church, Happy looked around the unusually full table. Most of the Redwood crew had come up since it was really calm down there. According to Jax, it was damn boring at the moment. There hadn't been time to talk to them about Jo, but he was sure there wouldn't be a problem with letting her tag along with them down south. He didn't want her alone on the road.

"Wha'd'ya know?" Clay asked after lighting his cigar.

"There's something going on," Lee started. "We've lost a big customer, but that's not the main thing. There's a lot of new whores around, cheap ones, that seems to be the case in all of the north and up into Canada. And then it's the attacks on the Old Ladies."

"But the attack on your Old Lady wasn't related?" Clay directed at Happy.

He shook his head. "Nah, rookie mistake when she hustled some guy."

"Sure that was it?" Tig asked. "She doesn't strike me as the kind of girl who does rookie mistakes."

"I'm sure. I've met him."

Clay laughed and it spread around the table. "Then I'm sure you know all of his secrets."

"Yup. Cheated on a math test in high school. Had nothing to do with the club."

"So do we think the attacks on the other Old Ladies have anything to do with the hookers?" Jax asked. "I don't see why any pimps would give a shit about the Sons in Tacoma. You're not in the pussy business. Would we care if there's a shift in the dominance there?"

"It's Mica and his Lobos that are in charge of most of the pussy. We've been in business with them for a while. They buy guns from us," Lee said, but when Jax opened his mouth he held up a hand. "_And,_ even if we hadn't, the girls spreading around town are really fucking cheap from what I hear. I don't like that crap in our town."

"How cheap?" Tig asked with an eager face.

"Trafficking-cheap."

Happy hadn't heard this, from what he could tell, few had. The only ones who didn't look surprised was the secretary Bondo and the VP Donut.

"Fuck!" Bobby said.

"When did you find that out?" Bowie asked and looked between Lee and Donut.

"Talked to Mica today so we're gonna have to check that out more to be sure."

"Checking out doesn't mean cheap pussy for you," Clay said and pointed at Tig. "I'm not taking someone else's word on that, especially not someone who's got a lot to lose on some competition. So I wanna be sure before we even touch that shit."

"I agree," Lee nodded. "We'll ask around and we need to keep an eye on our women."

They took care of some regular business before going out into the clubhouse. Happy immediately noticed Jo sitting next to Eden. She looked okay, more like herself, so she was healing up.

"Mind if I play some pool with your Old Lady, Man?" Tig asked. Hap just shook his head.

He watched Tig go up to her and as they walked over to the pool table. He stopped Clay as he walked passed him.

"Hey, prez, got a favor to ask."

"What?"

"Jo's gonna go down to Bakersfield and visit my mom. Wondered if she could tag along with you guys. Don't want her alone on the road."

"Not a problem, brother. We'll take care of your Old Lady." He looked over at Tig and Jo playing pool with Soza watching them. "How's she doing?"

"Fine, she got lucky."

"Good to hear," Clay gave him a hug. "We'll set things up for the ride back too, don't worry."

"I won't. I know you'll handle it."

He looked back over at Jo who was still at the pool table with Tig. Soza, Eden and Mel were watching. He moved closer and could hear her talking about some syndrome that people got when they visited Florence. He sat down next to Bowie at a table close to the ongoing game and leaned back to watch.

-o0o-

Joanna noticed Hap talking to Clay and then he gave her a small, half smile and a nod, so apparently it was all okay, she was going with them down to Bakersfield. She turned and looked at Tig.

"You're not drinking," he said and pointed at the Coke she was holding.

"No. I'm still pretty pumped up with meds, so that would be a bad idea."

She wasn't taking meds, but she didn't want to drink, not when she was pregnant.

"So was that bullshit?"

"Stendhal syndrome?" She asked and when he nodded she laughed. "No. It's also called Florence Syndrome or hyperkulturemia. They told me about it when I was there. Or rather warned me about it, that all the culture could get too much. I'm sort of suspecting it's a PR thing, but they claim it's real."

"So they see a big painting and just faint."

"Sort of."

They played for a while and then sat down at a table along with Bobby and Bowie. After a while, Hap came up to her, put his hand on her shoulder and leaned forward.

"Go get some sleep, baby."

She really was tired so she nodded and looked at him. "Here?"

"Yeah. I'll be there in a while."

Joanna said goodnight to everyone and as she was leaving she heard Tig behind her, "You sending her off?"

"Yeah, got tired of watching you rub up on her," Hap answered, but she knew he was just joking. If it really had bothered him he would've stopped them long ago.

After a shower she crawled into bed and woke up a while later when Hap came in after her.

"All good?"

"Yeah. They're taking you with them."

She knew it would calm him down if she had someone with her so she accepted it. Besides, she'd still be alone in the car.

-o0o-

Tig wasn't exactly used to scoping out hookers and not being allowed to get a taste. When they walked down a street most of girls took off, though. It was him, Lee, Clay, Donut and their business contact, Mica.

"They know who we are," Lee said. "If we buy hookers it's not the street ones so they know we're after something. I'm guessing Mica here is a problem for them as well." He nodded towards Mica who just shrugged and smiled.

"None of these are yours?"

"Nah," he said. "These are the lower grade pussy. Don't keep my girls here. But the ones I suspect are trafficked are easiest to find here. And they wouldn't dare leave their post."

As far as Tig could see, he was right. There were some who didn't disappear. Instead they came closer.

"Wanna fuck?" A woman with an Asian appearance said in heavily accented, broken English. She didn't look Chinese, further south of Asia, maybe Thailand. "I cheap, I fuck you good."

"Get a price," Lee mumbled behind him.

He looked at the very young girl holding on to his arm. He estimated that she was in her late teens or early twenties, had bad skin, a bruise on her cheek, was skinny and generally looked like she was in extremely bad condition.

"How much?"

"For fuck?" She asked and he nodded. "30 dollars. You want fuck?"

He shook his head and walked away. 30 dollars was cheap, even for street prostitution it was really fucking cheap. He knew what the regular signs for trafficking looked like and she matched them all. She'd probably been here for a while, gone through the other places for prostitutes and at the moment the pimps were just trying to squeeze the very last dollars out of her, before getting rid of her. They never had any interest in keeping the girls healthy, they could have new girls brought in pretty fucking easily and at a low cost.

They walked down the street and turned around to look at the girls.

"Well, they're trafficked, pretty sure about that," Tig said and lit a smoke. "Million dollar question is of course how that has anything to do with us and how that's got anything to do with the attacks on the Old Ladies."

No matter how he racked his brain he couldn't figure out how the things connected. There was no clear pattern and no reason for any pimps to go after their women. He turned and looked at Mica.

"Got any bright ideas?"

"No one has approached us directly. Either to deal or to try to get rid of us. A few months back, all of a sudden, the streets were flooded with these girls."

Tig looked back at the girls.

"This isn't the top of the line shit," Clay said just what Tig had been thinking. "This is the cast off, bottom of the barrel. There should be signs of high end stuff around town as well."

"Nothing like that," Mica lit a smoke as well. "These are the only additions to the local market. I'd hear and notice if there was anything else coming in. They're still stealing customers though. And I don't like having trafficking girls around town. Not like this. Makes the customers think they can have anything."

Lee sighed and turned around so that he stood in front of them. "I got a new shipment coming in next week."

"Think you can double my order?" Mica asked and glared when they saw a guy, obviously a pimp, walk up to the girl who'd just offered Tig a cheap fuck.

Tig knew Lee was more than happy to double the order since they'd just lost one of their bigger customers. Lee still sighed a bit and looked uncomfortable. Tig had to bite his cheeks to not burst into laughter.

"I'll pay 50 per cent extra for any extra you can throw in," Mica tried.

"I'll do what I can," Lee said and extended his hand.

"Good," Mica said as he took it. "I'll talk to you soon."

When they reached their bikes, Clay started laughing. "I'll see if I can unload some of your merchandise down south. Don't think you'll need it if you keep that fucking hustling up."

"No need to sound desperate," Lee said with a smile as he got on his bike. "Don't want him to think he can dump the prices on me."


	7. Is Too Close To Hell

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_As always; thank you so much for your favs, alerts and reviews. Or for just simply reading this, that's awesome as well._

_A special thank you to MuckyShroom & Simone Santos for being so great and supportive. They're the reason most of this things are readable. And to all the girls in the FC who can really make my mood go up in mere minutes. Thank you._

* * *

**7. Is Too Close To Hell**

-o0o-

_Jiang Qing was Mao Zedong's fourth wife and was married to him during the founding of the People's Republic of China in 1949. Initially she worked as a director at Centr__e__ of Propaganda, but from the 60's she was a part of 'The Gang Of Four', the four main leaders of the Chinese Communist Party. After Mao's death in 1976 she believed that she could remain in power. She was arrested less than one month after his departure, sent to jail and detained for four years. During the trial of 'The Gang of Four' that started 1980 she claimed that she 'was Chairman Mao's dog. I bit who he asked me to bite'. She was sentenced to death. __The sentance __was later turned into life in prison. Released on medical ground__s__ in 1991, she hanged herself at the hospital._

_Elena Ceaușescu was the wife of Romania's communist leader Nicolae Ceaușescu. She's considered heavily influenced by Jiang Qing and wanted power alongside her husband in the same way. She was successful. In March 1980 she was made First Deputy Prime Minister. On december 25__th__ 1989 she was executed by a firing squad side__-__by__-__side with her husband._

_18-year old Nadezha Alliluyeva married the widowed 41 year__-__old Josef Stalin in 1919. They had two children together and argued frequently. After a public argument she was found dead in a bathroom with a revolver next to her. She was 31 years old. Officially she died from appendicitis, but two doctors refused to sign the death certificate. They were both later executed._

_Stalin's first wife, Ekaterina Svanidze, died of typhus when she was 22 years old. Stalin said that, besides his mother, she may have been the only person he truly loved. During his 'Great Terror', between 1936 and 1939, he executed most of her remaining family._

_Ida Dalser was most likely Benito Mussolini's first wife. She supported him financially during his early years through her job as a beautician since he was refused jobs due to his socialist political activity. He later re-married__. When he__ seized power in 1922 __he__ placed Ida and her (and most likely his) son under surveillance. She was eventually forcibly interned at a psychiatric hospital where she died in 1937._

_Eva Braun was Hitler__'__s wife for 40 hours. She met him when she was 17 years old and lived a sheltered life during the entire war. They committed suicide together, she by biting into a capsule of cyanide. The public were unaware of their relationship until after their deaths._

_Whether in power or by the sidelines, in public or hidden away, alive or dead, women always pay the price for their men's deeds. _

-o0o-

Happy was standing in the lot, outside the clubhouse, next to Koz. Jo was by her car, the new one he'd bought her since he didn't want her driving around in the piece she'd had before. Mel and Eden were standing next to her and he was waiting for them to get the fuck away from her before going over there. She was going down to his mom's and also making a stop at Marco's. He hadn't protested and had even asked her to carefully ask him if he'd heard about something going on. Whilst Jo had stayed in the minor hustling leagues, Marco had expanded and was well informed about everything going on along the west coast.

They'd already said their goodbyes the night before, more than once, so he wasn't in a hurry and was just gonna tell her to call him when she could. Next up in the line was Koz and Happy went up to the two of them. When Koz let go of Jo, he looked at the two of them with a big smile.

"Get lost," Hap growled.

"What? Just wanna hear your sweet goodbyes and I love you's."

"Go get laid," Jo said and pushed his shoulder to get him to move.

Once he was gone, Hap moved close to Jo, leaning his arm on the roof of the car.

"Call me when you get there and say 'hi' to mom from me."

"I will," she nodded and gave him that crooked smile. "I love you."

"Keep that up," he mumbled. "And since you're too chicken shit to ask; I'll keep it in my pants."

She smiled at him, but looked a bit relieved. She hadn't brought it up since they were in Charming, but he mentioned it now and then just so she knew he remembered it.

"I'll miss you and that sorry excuse of a charm you've got."

He leaned closer and whispered in her ear. "I was gonna give you a surprise when you get back, but if you keep mouthing off at me like that I might change my mind."

"Will it vibrate?"

"No," he chuckled. "I'll have members following you down to LA and back here too."

She nodded and then looked up at him. "It better vibrate."

"Get in the fucking car," he laughed and opened the door for her.

After slamming the door shut he took a step back and waved at her before turning to Tig.

"Take care of her."

"Absolutely, Brother," he said and gave him a hug.

As they all drove off the lot Lee came up and stood next to him. They'd had a quick talk earlier when he'd asked about Jo going to Marco.

"Is she going to talk to Marco?"

"Yeah."

"Why can't we just call him?"

"He won't tell us shit unless she talks to him first," Hap shrugged. "Thief honor and shit like that. She won't fill him in, she knows what she can say or do."

"I know that. Speaking of thieves. You know that the girls are planning a girls' night out to watch her hustle?"

Hap turned and stared at Lee. "What?"

"Tell me she's not hustling right now."

"No, she's not." They might have agreed on her still hustling, but it was not going to happen now, no way in hell. "And she's not going alone when she does."

"Crazy fucking bitches," Lee said and shook his head.

He should probably talk to her about that too, but he'd wait until she came home. Arguing on the phone never worked with her, she just hung up.

-o0o-

Rosa heard the bikes as soon as they turned in on her block and went outside to wait. When the big SUV came into sight she laughed and shook her head. She was going to have to ask Jo how Hap had persuaded her to driving something like that. When the car stopped and Jo jumped out, Rosa met her with open arms and gave her a long hug.

"How's my Pajarito?"

"I'm fine," she gave Rosa a hug. "I'm glad to be here."

Rosa looked at the two men on the bikes. "Are you staying for dinner?"

"No, ma'am," one of them said and turned to Jo. "Tell Hap to give us a call when you're leaving."

"I will. Thank you!"

They waved goodbye. Jo grabbed her bags and started to walk towards the house.

"I got food, coffee and stiff drinks for us." She looked at Joanna. "How's the shoulder?"

"Fine, it's all good."

Jo disappeared upstairs to leave her bag in the guestroom and then came back to the kitchen. The table was already set, full of food. Her smile got big.

"I really wish you lived closer to us."

"You say that now," Rosa said as she put a plate in front of Jo. "But when I come and bother you, crocheting curtains for you and start folding your laundry, you'd go insane."

"You wouldn't do that."

"Maybe not. I hate laundry," she smiled and sat down on the other side of the table. "How's my boy?"

"He's good, busy, but good."

"Is he taking care of you?" It was probably an unnecessary question. She was honestly a bit surprised that he'd allowed Joanna to come here just after getting shot. It was still something she could nag about, just to make sure he knew she was alive.

"Yes. I had to send his ass home from the hospital. He's too old to sleep in a chair."

"Yes he is," she chuckled, very much preferring to not think about how old her son was. "What else is going on?"

"I'm pregnant." Jo blurted out.

That came out of nowhere and judging by Jo's expression, nevermind how she said it, this wasn't something that was easy for her to say.

"And that's a problem?"

"I don't know. I think I'll be a bad mom and... if something happened and it ended up in the system."

Rosa put down her fork and knife. She understood why the girl was worried, but it was stupid and of course she'd be a good mother, but growing up the way she had, she probably thought she didn't have the basics.

"Look at me, Pajarito." So Jo did. "Do you know what makes a good mom?"

"No, I don't."

"No one does. You love your kids and do the best of it. Look at me and that crazy boy I have. He still loves me, you know why?"

"Because you love him."

"Right. Fiercely. He knows I do and I did the best I could, kids know when you do. You love him the same way, just like you'll love that kid the same way. I know you, you'd do anything for that baby and I know for a fact that my boy will. Hell, he'll walk through fire for it, just like he would for you."

There were tears falling down Jo's cheeks. "I'm not sure I can do this. I'm scared."

"Of course you are. You're a smart girl, you know all the risks. Have to be a daft bitch to not be scared when you're becoming a mother." Rosa got up and went over to sit next to Jo. "You'll be fine, you're strong and if you're strong enough to stand by my boy, you can do this. If that's what you want to do."

She had a feeling that Jo was thinking about not keeping the baby. Which was probably why she hadn't heard of it until now.

Jo looked up at her and dried her cheeks. "I promised him I wouldn't tell you."

"He thinks I'll fall over and die if you decide not to keep it."

Hap always thought she'd fall over and die. If that was a risk it would've happened a long time ago. If not when he came home with with a snake tattooed on his head, when he came over a decade later and told her he was married. There had been some quite nasty shocks between those too as well. And before that too! That boy was always out to settle scores, like when he torched the football field just 'cause he and his friends weren't allowed to play there.

"He was more worried that you'd kill us both."

"Of course not. I know you two. What is he saying about the baby?"

"He wants it, but he says it's up to me and he'll stand by me no matter what I decide."

"Of course he will." Rosa stroked Jo's hair. "Eat your food, honey. We'll talk more when you want to, but I'm not giving you any stiff drinks until you've made up your mind."

"No. No drinks. Stiff coffee will have to do."

-o0o-

Joanna felt a lot better when she went to bed that night, despite the lack of stiff drinks. If the poor woman who raised Hap thought she could be a mother, that was at least something. Now she also knew that Rosa wouldn't hate her forever. She was gonna wait to tell Hap about it until she came home, though, just in case in case he started arguing. He sucked at arguing on the phone, he just yelled and she always ended up hanging up on him so she didn't end up deaf.

"_How's mom?" _Was the first thing he said when he answered the phone.

"Like always. Feeding me vigorously."

He laughed._ "Gonna be a fat ass when you get out of there."_

"Doubt it. Miss me?"

"_Nah. No one's attacking me in bed, though. Feels kinda empty."_

"I know what you mean," she turned around and hugged a pillow. "I'm thinking about staying here for three days before going to LA. Would that be okay with my rides?"

"_Whenever you want, baby. They'__ll __just play tagteam with you."_

"Okay. Tell me you love me."

"_I love you."_

"Not even a bitch in there."

He laughed._ "Just say that to your face."_

Once they'd hung up, Joanna laid down on her back and carefully stroked her belly. It was the first time she'd acknowledged to herself that she was pregnant, that she had a baby in there. Her and Hap's child.

-o0o-

Jo had been gone for four days and should be on her way to LA at the moment. His mom had called, nagging about shit. Mostly that he'd kept Jo from visiting sooner, that he hadn't followed his recently shot wife there and instead had let her drive alone, that he never called and on and on and on. That woman was lucky she was his mother.

"Talked to your mom yesterday," Koz said as he sat down next to him and Lee. "She made Jo sound like a fucking cripple. Something about making the poor woman drive while wounded."

"Yeah, she had that talk with me as well." He turned to Koz. "Why the fuck did she call you?"

"She loves me," Koz said with a big smile. "Seriously, though, she called to nag and asked me to nag at you too. We're not taking proper care of her little Pajarito."

"Don't bother, she's already called and nagged at me too."

Happy chuckled, but Lee was laughing out loud. "Fuck, I hope I meet that woman one day."

"She'd rip you a new asshole in five seconds," Koz said. "When's she going to Marco?"

"She's on her way."

"Really think it'll get us something?" Lee asked and Koz looked at Hap.

Lee knew some about Jo and her background, but nothing about Marco. He'd gone out on a limb when he allowed Hap to let Jo ask Marco questions. Koz, on the other hand, knew more.

"If something is going on, he knows," Koz said. "And he'll tell her anything we want to know if she asks him."

"Is he her real brother?"

"They grew up together," Hap said. "Were taught together, and he's better connected than we are."

"Mob?"

"I honestly don't know. He'll do it for her if she asks him, no matter who he's with." Jo had told him some of it, but he doubted that she knew half of it. She wasn't the nosy kind. Marco'd probably told her what he though she needed to know and then left it at that. "I know he might be able to help us, he'll do it discretely and it won't go any further. He'll probably just let us know enough to point us in the right direction."

"That's all we need," Lee nodded. "Just something that'll get us out of the dark."

"Nothing new?" Koz asked.

"Nope. Nothing. I'm gonna get inside and get drunk. Who's with me?"

Both him and Koz stood up and followed Lee inside. Getting drunk and passing out in his dorm at the clubhouse felt like a great idea.

-o0o-

Marco smiled when the car pulled up on his driveway, followed by two bikes. When Joanna stepped out he laughed and shook his head.

"Fucking hell, Jo. You've got bodyguards."

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged tight.

"Hey," she mumbled as he kissed the top of her head.

"Hello, sis." When she stepped back he pointed at the bikers again. "Seriously, what's going on?"

"Just making sure she's safe," one of them answered. "We'll be on our way."

"Sure you don't wanna stay for a beer?"

"Nah, we're good." Then the biker looked at Jo. "Take care, Peanut."

She nodded and waved at them as they left.

"Jo. Seriously, what the fuck is going on. You being shot and now you have bodyguards."

"The shot thing was my own fault, but there's been some attacks, they're trying to figure stuff out and you know Hap," she said and rolled her eyes. "Me getting shot didn't convince him I'd be fine."

Marco laugh, yup, Happy had always been very protective of Jo. She kind of invited it, being all small and looking fragile. Looks could be very deceiving. She followed him into the house, said 'hi' to his kids who were sprawled out in the living room. They had dinner and things were just as always, but the second the kids were in bed he sat down in front of her.

"Hit me."

"I fucked up. Like a newbie fuck up, hustled a druggie and he shot me."

He couldn't fucking believe it. "Fucks sake, Jo. Marcelo is problably spinning in his grave."

"I know!"

"What's the shit with the other Old Ladies?"

"I don't know. No one does. They're trying to figure it out."

Marco leaned back in the chair and took a sip of his drink. Marcelo had trained him in hustling and pickpocketing, just like he'd trained Jo. As oppose to Jo, Marco hadn't ended his criminal career at that. He was involved in other stuff, Jo knew some of it, but being the smart chick she was, she didn't ask questions. He usually didn't ask questions either, but Old Ladies were being attacked and his sister was one of them, he asked questions. He might've laughed about the bodyguards, but secretly he was fucking pleased that Hap had done it.

He'd lost his dad, or the man he thought of as his dad, his brother, and three years earlier, his wife had died too. He wanted to make sure his sister was safe. Hap would keep her safe, but he might need help to do that and when it came to outlaw stuff, Marco was informed.

"Do you know anything, even what they think it might be."

"Hap mentioned something about hookers. He wanted me to mention it to you. See if you've heard anything."

Marco nodded. "Yeah. Heard about that, trafficking from Asia. We've had some of it here, but it's more up north." He put his beer on the table and leaned forward. "There's a new guy in Cambodia who's keeping up a steady supply. Some Swedish moron who was pushed out of his porn business back in Sweden and took off before he was charged for some shit. He's supplying some new players up north, in Canada. Could have something to do with that."

"I'll let him know."

"Yeah, tell him to call me and I'll give him what I got." He looked at her still full beer standing on the table and pointed at it. "Something you wanna tell me?"

The small smile on her lips made him laugh. He got up, pulled her out of the chair and gave her a hug.

"Damn, Jo. Never thought it would happen."

"I was scared. I don't want it to grow up in the system." She went silent and he waited it out. "I'm still scared that'll happen."

"Bull. It fucking wouldn't and you know it. I'd take it, someone in the club would. There's people around us, it's not like our parents who were alone."

Marcelo had come back to their place one day and told him and Kevin he'd found a girl, a natural. When they'd followed him the next day and he'd pointed her out, he'd figured she was around eleven. Turned out she was fourteen. The first three months she hardly said a single word but 'okay', 'yes' and 'no'. When she started to trust them a little, she talked more. She slowly turned into their little sister and she became a part of their dysfunctional family. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her and he knew that went both ways.

Now she was looking at him with her big brown eyes and the same scared expression she'd seemed to wear constantly the first year he knew her.

"Promise me you'd take it if something happened to us."

He kissed her cheek. "Baby, we'll draw up legal documents about it if you want to."

Tears ran down her cheeks and she hugged him close, but didn't say anything. Obviously this was something that had worried her and he couldn't understand why. If she'd just asked him he would've told her, but he thought it would have been obvious that he would.

"You really worried about that?" He said, still a bit stunned and even slightly insulted.

"Yes. I don't really want kids. I don't think I'll be a good mom and... well, we're pretty high risk citizens, even you. I just..."

He knew that Jo's experiences in the system were longer and a lot worse than his, but it still felt like a bad reason to not have kids. His kids was easily the best part of his life. He hugged her tighter.

"Honey, you'll be a great mom. You'll do fine and your kid will be safe. Okay? I'll make fucking sure of that and so will Hap."

"Okay."

"And talk to Hap when you get home. If they think that porn guy in Cambodia has anything to do with this, I'll give them anything they need on him. And talk to him about the kid too, if he's okay with me as a the third choice. I'd do it, you know I will and I'll take care of it."

"I know. You're a good dad."

"I'm like most dads. I fuck up now and then, but that's part of it. You'll be fine, both of you."

When Jo got into her car two days later the bikers were back. She was gonna swing by the cemetery before going back home and she'd promised Marco she'd have an escort the entire way. He didn't doubt it for a second.

"Say 'hi' to the Old Man from me, tell him I'm keeping up with the hustling."

"I will. Saint Nicholas!"

"Saint Nicholas, baby. Don't let your old man sway you from our ways."

"I won't," she laughed and got into the car.

She probably wouldn't. And no matter how much Hap freaked about it, the big guy fucking loved that he had a hustler wife.

-o0o-

"Hey, old man," Joanna mumbled as she sat down in front of Marcelo's headstone.

It was beautiful, they'd made sure of that. It had a bell on it. Towards the end he'd admitted that he'd been to the School Of Seven Bells and that they all had a bell on their headstones. He drew it up for them and they added it without many more questions.

"I'm pregnant," she almost whispered. "And I'm scared. They all say it'll be fine, but I don't know how to do this. I got my first parent when I was fourteen. I had you and you were... one of a kind. I don't know, Marcelo. I'm really scared and I wish you were here to talk to me. I'm... I just don't think I'm cut out for this. And Hap... I love him, I really do, but I'm not sure he's cut out for this either. And us two in combination... We could do some serious damage to a kid."

She sat in silence for a while and then realized that she was sitting, holding one hand on her belly. The main problem for her seemed to be that she wasn't sure they could do it, take care of a kid. So somewhere along the line, the not wanting a kid had disappeared. Now she was more worried that she wouldn't be able to do it. Since she'd never been even remotely interested in kids she had no experience whatsoever. There were serious doubts about whether she would be able to change a diaper, she'd never even done that.

"You always said I could do anything, be anything, if I just wanted to, but I'm just not sure about being a mom. At the same time, I have to be honest with myself, I want it."

She sat there in silence for a while, just letting her mind wander wherever it wanted to, not trying to force her thoughts in any direction. After a while she noticed one of the Nomads coming, when he saw her he halted. He'd probably thought she'd been away for too long and wanted to make sure she was okay. She nodded at him and got up. She had a long drive ahead of her, she was going to stay the night somewhere along the way, but she wanted to be home by the next day. She missed Happy.


	8. I Want To Move I Want To Go

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_As always, I'm so grateful for all your support. I hope all of you US residents liked the first episode of the sixth season. _

_There's another A/N at the end of the chapter explaining some of the things I mention here. I'm always available for questions, might take me some time to respond, but I tend to get to it eventually. Thanks again!_

* * *

**8. ****I Want To Move I Want To Go**

_A dragon's 'yin' is the fenghuang, the Chinese phoenix. The dragon, being the male, is power strength and good luck. The fenghuang is a symbol of virtue and grace. Despite being called phoenix, it has nothing to do with the western version of the bird._

_Twins, one boy and one girl is considered highly blessed in Chinese families. They have received one dragon and one fenghuang, balance. Dragon-phoenix twins._

_Fenghuang is also justice and graciousness, it doesn't tolerate lies or abuse of power. It is not vengeful, it just ignores those who doesn't have the moral it expects. I am no fenghuang, I never was and I never will be. But I am no dragon either, so I've stopped trying. I don't strive for balance, I want everything I've never had._

-o0o-

Lee sat down next to Hap and scanned the clubhouse; some sweetbutts, a few members and two or three hangarounds. It was a pretty calm night.

"Hey," he said and Hap nodded at him. "What's up?"

"Nothin'."

Hap had been a bit off. Not much, not so that anyone would really notice it, but Lee did. He knew Hap and this what was Hap was like when he was off. Exactly what the problem was, that was another thing. He didn't think it was just that Jo was away, that didn't usually bother him, but it might be that she was away just after she'd been shot. That had been a real scare.

"Hey, man. Really, what's on your mind?"

"A lot. The shit with the Old Ladies. What the fuck is up with that? You don't attack women, you just don't. At least not like that. No MC would do that, if they did, they'd let us know they did it. So I'm thinking it's not an MC."

"Don't think so either." Lee had actually though the same thing. "Guys who traffic women are another thing though."

"Yeah. So I still think it's them. But again, why would they bother with the women? What's that gonna do?"

"Rattle us."

"We don't get rattled," Hap said with a shrug. "We get pissed."

"That, and rattling us would only have an effect if we knew who to attack. Getting pissed and attacking blind is a stupid way of doing things. But having us do that would only be smart if we knew who the fuck we could attack."

Lee knew that Hap was smarter than he was often given credit for. He was mostly known for being a ruthless motherfucker, which he was; but being able to torture someone, in general scare the shit outta people, did require some brains. Since his mouth wasn't yapping the entire fucking time, he did think shit over. So Lee was kinda curious to what he'd come up with regarding this.

"I still think it's something with the hookers. There's a lot of them all of a sudden and even if we're not in that business..." he didn't finish the sentence.

"Wha'd'you mean?"

"I mean, that there might still be something we got, that they want. Or something we do that they don't want us to do. If it's them. But still don't get why they went after our women."

"Come on," Lee said and stood up. "In the chapel."

He waved for Bowie, Soza and Bondo, since they were the only other members who were there.

"What the fuck?" Bowie asked, once they were all seated.

"Hap just said something. That even if we're not in the pussy business, there might be something we have or something we do that they want or want us to stop doing."

Bowie sighed. "Man, I'm stoned and slightly drunk. I didn't fucking follow that."

"Point is. We need to figure out every fucking business we're in, make a list and see what has ties in pussy. Trafficked pussy."

"That's sort of a no brainer," Soza said with a shrug. "The Port."

Lee stared at him and he knew they were all doing the same. Obviously it was the Port. He couldn't fucking believe they hadn't thought about that. The Port of Tacoma was one of largest container ports in the world and one of the main reasons that a SOA chapter had been established there. The balance between different rival interests was delicate, but along with the IRA, they'd managed to pretty much take control of it. In exchange they left the harbors on the west side of the country pretty much alone. The main bulk of the smuggled weapons came in here, some in other ports as well, it was never smart to put all your eggs in one basket and the IRA was smart.

Almost 2 million containers passed through the port every year, a lot of them from China and Hong Kong. In other words, a fucking wet dream for people trafficking women from those areas. If the girls were taken in via Asia, that's the port you wanted to own. From there, it was easy to rail the containers to the midwest and even the East coast if you wanted to.

After a long silence, Bondo opened his mouth. "Well, think we figured that one out," he said. "Still doesn't explain the Old Ladies."

"No. It fucking doesn't. It makes even less sense now." He looked around. "What do we know about trafficking. Really? Not shit we've seen in a movie, but actual trafficking."

"The women come from poor countries, Asia, Latin America and Eastern Europe," Bowie said. "Pretty much any country that people want to get out of. Think they often tell them they'll get them a job and then sell them."

"Who takes them into the country and is it to pimp them or to sell them?" Hap asked. "I mean, if that's what this shit is about, is it the pimps or the sellers we're having a problem with."

"I think that varies," Bondo said. "Probably a combination."

"Who's in that business? Isn't it mostly Mob? Think they do the pimping and the selling," Lee said and looked around, they were nodding. "So we could be in shitloads of trouble."

"Depends on the Mob," Hap said. "And I think we'd've known if Mob was moving into Tacoma in a strong push to take over the harbor. Besides, they have most of the harbors on the east coast and some here on the west as well. They could just take them in there."

"Yeah." Lee had to agree with Hap. They'd've known if Mob was moving into Tacoma. Even if Tacoma was a big port on the West Coast, it wasn't the only one and the mob owed some of the others. "And they're not chicken shit. They wouldn't attack women like that as their first move. They'd fucking knock on our front door. They're not stupid."

"Have Juice run it. If it's about the harbor, it's the mother charter's fucking problem as well," Bondo said. "So get Juice on it."

Lee nodded. "Yeah. I'm gonna call Clay immediately. Church tomorrow as usual."

-o0o-

Joanna had been driving straight back to Tacoma with very few stops. She wanted to get home, to Hap. She hoped that he was at their place and not the clubhouse.

She parked the car, grabbed her backpack, and half ran up the stairs. It was dark, but considering the hour, that wasn't all that strange. After brushing her teeth she went into the bedroom. There he was, lying on his stomach. She undressed, sneaked under the cover and laid down on top of him, kissing him over the shoulders.

"Hey, baby," she said when he opened his eyes.

"Hey, Peanut. Missed me?"

"I did, actually." She raised up to her knees so he could turn around underneath her. "Did you miss me?"

Instead of answering he grabbed her cheeks and pulled her down for a very proper kiss. She pressed herself against his cock and felt it starting to grow. He bit her lower lip and then looked at her.

"Answer enough for you?"

"No," she smiled and kissed his chin before nibbling down his neck. When he growled she glanced up at him. "Think you can make it clearer, but I'm first."

She moved further down and carefully bit down on his left nipple before licking it. She trailed her tongue over to the right one and smiled when she stroked her hands down his sides. When she rose up to look at him he opened his eyes and frowned.

"What's the hold up?"

Still smiling she shook her head and nestled her knee between his thighs to get him to spread his legs so she could sit between them. They were both naked. Hap hardly ever bothered wearing anything in bed, since he usually took a shower before getting into it; and he'd been very clear on the fact that he preferred her naked as well. She didn't mind as long as he was there to warm her. Sitting on her heels she looked at him again. It was hard to imagine that he was over forty when you looked at him. In general, he hadn't changed much since the first time she'd seen him undressed, there was just more ink. She leaned down again and followed the tail of the snake around his navel.

While kissing the line of his hip muscle she drew the heel of her palm along the underside of his cock. He groaned and it twitched under her hand.

"Turn around, babe."

She looked up at him and when she noticed the smile on his lips she got it. "Want me to sit on your face?"

"Oh, yeah."

Carefully she placed her knees on either side of his head and then leaned over him. She angled his dick and took him in her mouth.

-o0o-

Happy loved it. His face buried in Jo's pussy and his dick buried in her mouth. He grabbed her butt cheeks and tried pull her even closer to him. He was getting painfully hard and didn't wanna cum in her mouth.

One of the reasons he loved sex with Jo was that she was so tiny and light, he could pretty much move her around however the fuck he wanted. So now he lifted her up and moved her to the side of him, still on her knees. He got up behind her and in one swift move drove his dick inside her.

"Shit!" She looked over her shoulder at him and when he pushed again she closed her eyes. "God! Again!"

He leaned over her and licked her earlobe. "Gonna stay home now?" He growled and gave her another deep, hard thrust.

"A while," she laughed and in response he started to fuck her, grabbing a firm hold of her hips.

It lasted until she caught his attention by saying, "My shoulder hurts, I wanna ride you."

He hadn't though about that. He pulled out and sat down, folding his legs in front of him. Jo turned around and caressed his face giving him a light kiss as she sat down on his dick, angling her hips to take him inside. Her eyes didn't leave his and he put his arm around her waist pulling her down towards him. When she finally closed her eyes and tilted her head back he kissed her throat, moved further down to the, still bright red, scar on her shoulder and pressed his lips against it.

Jo wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him harder as she started to move faster. He closed his eyes as well, feeling her move over him, increasing the speed as she squeezed tighter with both her arms and pussy; but he was gonna let her decide this time, he knew it would come eventually. Her breath was getting heavier and finally she mumbled it.

"Finish it."

He leaned back, grabbed her throat and pushed her down onto her back.

"Arms," he said and she moved them up over her head. He held them with his other hand and started slamming his dick inside her.

He kept looking at her. Her slight smile told him she was still okay, so he moved down and sucked her nipple into his mouth. Suddenly he could feel her coming and with a groan he followed her.

He got up on his elbows and gently brushed the hair out of her face. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she mumbled. "Just hurts when I'm putting my weight on it for a long time."

He kissed the scar again before pulling out and lying down next to her. She turned to her side and put her arm over his chest. Lying there, she ran her fingers up and down his chest, following the lines of his ink.

"Was this my surprise?" she asked and smiled at him. "Cuz if it was, I liked it even if it didn't vibrate."

"No. I got it in my cut." He reached for his cut that was hanging on the chair next to the bed. Then he laid back down and handed her the small box. "Since you got a ring on me, I want one on you."

Jo sat up with big eyes and carefully opened the box. Then she really fucking freaked him out when her breath hitched.

"It's beautiful," she mumbled and then rubbed her eyes.

"Are you crying?" Jo crying was not usually a good sign.

"Don't worry, it's the hormones. I love it. Not the hormones..."

"I know what you meant." He took the ring and put it on her finger. "It's vintage. There's two of them actually. Victorian style, engraved band, and that..." he pointed in the middle of the bigger ring, "Is a black diamond. The thinner ring goes with it, so you have two."

She looked at him with big eyes and touched the diamond. "It's perfect."

"I know." He pulled her down for a kiss. "I know what my girl likes."

"No help?"

He grabbed her hair and put his forehead to hers.. "Cheeky bitch! No, no help. Did it all by myself."

"There's something I need to ask you," she said and laid down next to him again, pulling the cover over them, clearly avoiding looking at him.

"Okay?"

"Do you still want us to keep the baby?"

"Yes..." Then he got it and he laughed. "You told mom, didn't you?"

"I did." She was still not looking at him, instead she'd gone back to running her fingers over his ink.

"Immediately?"

"No, took me at least five minutes." She finally looked up at him, actually looking a bit bothered. "I needed to talk to someone, Hap."

"It's okay." He didn't mind. It explained his mother's nagging calls to both him and Koz. If he knew his mother, she wouldn't think twice about calling him up and yelling if she was truly pissed at him for thinking about not keeping the baby, so they were probably okay. "I'm guessing she convinced you."

"No. I think I had made up my mind. I just needed someone, a mom, to tell me I could do it. Then I talked to Marco as well. He said any kid of mine wouldn't end up in the system for as long as he lived."

Happy liked the idea of Marco caring for their kid if shit came to that. He was a good dad, as far as he could tell at least. His kids seemed okay. Then it really started to dawn on him what she was saying.

He tried to process that information, "You want to keep it?"

"Yes."

For the first time he let himself carefully stroke her belly, with his kid in it. He looked at it and then up at her and he knew he had a stupid smile on his face.

"We're having a kid."

"Still freaks me the fuck out."

"Me too," he admitted with a laugh before pulling her in for a kiss. "We'll be fine."

"I'm more worried about the kid."

"It'll be fine too." He was going to make damn sure about that. He laid her down on her back rolled up on top of her. "It'll be good, all of it."

"You've got a few more months to convince me about that." She took a deep breath. "So you'd be okay with having Marco as a backup? He said he'd sign papers if it'd make me calmer."

"Sure." Somehow he was gonna make damn sure that she calmed down about it and if it meant signing shit he'd do that. "We'll figure it all out."

She kissed his nose. "Marco is going to call you about that other stuff you're dealing with. Human Trafficking. He's getting info together for you as well and he'll send it to Lee. I figured he was the one who was going to have it."

"So he knew about it."

"We didn't talk much about it. You know me; I prefer to not know details and Marco doesn't want me to have them." She yawned. "I'm really tired now."

"Then sleep. We'll talk more tomorrow."

"Tell me you love me."

"I love you, you sneaky bitch."

"That's a good thing, even if you're calling the mother of your child a bitch."

He hugged her closer and sighed when she put her icy feet between his thighs.

-o0o-

Bowie looked at Lee who had gotten a package from FedEx two hours earlier. He had disappeared into his room, now he came walking out with the same package, waving it around.

"Chapel!" He yelled and they all got up and followed him.

"What did Jo say?" He asked Hap as they walked inside.

"Not much. Talked to Marco yesterday, he said he'd send over what he'd found and he was gonna call Lee."

"Tell your brother in law we owe him a solid," Lee said and pointed at Hap who nodded in response. "I fucking wish we had his sources."

He waited while they all sat down.

"This is one of the guys." He held up a picture of a very blond guy. "Sven Cederberg, born 1957 in Sweden. Started off by selling porn-mags in bulk. In 1982 there was a new law in Sweden that prohibited nudity in pornographic performances on stage. He opened his first porn club the next year and was prosecuted and sentenced for breaking the law withing months. He paid the fine, read the ruling and figured out that he could have the girls dancing partly dressed on stage and serve drinks naked since serving drinks didn't constitute a performance."

"Smart," Koz said with a nod.

"Yes. He did seem to have some bright moments early on," Lee said. "He started with porn movies in the late 80's. From what I can see it was mostly movies that included pissing and taking dumps on girls."

"Really?" Bowie liked sex, a lot of it, but shit-sex was never hot in his world.

"Yes. By the turn of the decade his MO was to take girls in for an interview, he got them drunk probably drugged them as well and then started filming them while they were being beaten, peed on and had shit rubbed all over them. He claims the movies sold well, the cops say they didn't. That they were made purely for Mr. Cederbergs own, personal amusement. Come the early 90's some of the girls started to press charges, at the same time the Swedish media started to realize that the guy existed."

"I'm guessing he quite quickly turned into a pretty hated guy."

"Yup. They couldn't prove the rapes so they did an Al Capone on him. In 1994 he was bankrupt, owed the government millions and he fled the country."

"Let me guess," Bondo said, "Asia."

"Asia," Lee confirmed with a nod. "He still owned the sex clubs and tried to keep control of them, but the guys he hired to run them simply took over. He sent his girlfriend to gain control and she ended up in jail. From Thailand he hired the Yugoslavian Mob to help him and apparently something called the Big Porn War started in Stockholm."

The guys laughed.

"Really," Soza said. "Porn War sounds pretty damn nice to me."

"It was a mess and included bombs, shootings and death threats. All involving strip clubs." Lee smiled at Koz. "This is where he started to not be all that smart. Once the Yugoslavian Mob had taken control, he didn't have money to pay them for their efforts."

"You're kidding?"

"No. So they kept the clubs as payment. And Mr. Cedeberg was actually stupid enough to report them to the police for that."

They all shook their heads. You didn't go to the cops, if you got involved with guys like this, you stuck to that. You didn't fucking switch in the middle of it and try to get people arrested. Not even mentioning how fucking stupid it was to do that when you've hired the people yourself.

"A few years ago he surfaced again and had started a tourist company called 'My Cambodia'." Lee held up a glossy brochure and then threw it to Donut who was closest to him. "It's in Swedish, but in it he says that he'll take you to his favorite spots that aren't tourist traps and used up girls the way Thailand is."

"Ehh," Lorca said and held up a hand. "Is he..."

"Yes. He's saying what you think he's saying. It's guided tours to Cambodian brothels. Thailand is one of the big countries for Swedish tourism. Even if not all of them are there for the underaged pussy and... ass, quite a few of them probably are." Lee closed the file on the table in front of him. "My guess is that his venture into sex tourism is how he found the girls and realized there were easier ways to make money from them."

"So we know who the supplier is. Who's the receiver?"

"We have a few names of his businesses, we'll put Juice on them. We know the cargo comes here so we'll go through the paper work at the port and link it to someone at this end. My guess would be that this guy," he waved the file again, "is just their local man so there's a link between him and whoever is on this end. If not, though, he'll lead us directly to the source."

"We don't know who's on this end?" Hap asked.

"No. It's someone pulling the strings up in Canada. That is pretty much all that Marco can give us at the moment and he admitted that it was only rumors. He's looking into it. But he did say that the major hubs for trafficking in the US are California, Texas, New York and Oklahoma. I don't think I need a map for it to be very clear to everyone in here that it leaves a big hole in this area. Probably something some people would classify as a 'good opportunity'. So it might be new guys on the playing field."

Bowie sighed. "So it's not just the fact that they want to ship from Asia? They want a distribution net that starts in this area? Since it's empty."

"Seems likely," Lee nodded. "We need to take another look at what's in this area. We mainly saw older, pretty low class women. Trafficking isn't just sex, it's labour as well. And the sex part is, according to Marco, a lot of underage. As much as fifty percent."

"Jesus fucking Christ," Bondo muttered. He had kids, so did Diaz and Donut. "How young?"

"As young as people buy them, would be my guess. And people are fucked up so I'd say pretty fucking young."

"The one collecting the girls," Donut muttered while looking at the picture of Sven. "So, what now?"

"Even if the thing about Canada is just rumors according to Marco, he seems pretty fucking well informed," Bowie said. "We have people in Canada who can look locally."

He thought it was worth a shot and that it could give them a head start. Lee seemed to agree.

"Call the clubs up there," Lee said to Koz. "We're gonna have to do a little trip soon and tell them what's going on."

Bowie'd just gotten the glossy brochure that was gonna show him the Swede's Cambodia. The guy, Sven, really looked like a pimp. Blond greasy hair slicked back. He looked very nordic, in a very greasy way. It wasn't hard to imagine him taking a dump on some girl.

They talked for a while longer and then walked out of the chapel into the bar. He spotted Eden and the other Old Ladies and went up to her.

"Hey," she mumbled with a smile and put her arms around him.

"Hey, baby. Ready to go home?"

"Yes."

He watched her say goodbye to the others and then they left.

Later that night when he was lying in bed, she came walking in wearing just a short nightgown. He'd met Eden when she worked as a waitress at a diner he'd been spending a lot of time at whilst keeping an eye on the house right opposite of it. She was pretty, funny and surprisingly sharp. Once the stake out was done he went back and asked her out.

"So it was Jo's brother who helped you?" She asked when she climbed into bed and cuddled closer.

"Yeah. She asked him for help when she was there."

"Think that trip was really good for her," Eden said in a yawn. "She seems so much calmer now."

Bowie thought she looked like she'd always done. Hap had dragged her off while giving Soza the finger, just before he'd left with Eden. He assumed Soza had teased the two of them.

"What was Soza teasing Jo and Hap about?"

"Her ring," Eden said and gave his chest a kiss. "He'd bought her this beautiful twin ring. Really romantic."

Romantic wasn't a word he would usually use to describe shit Hap did. When Eden's hand slipped into his boxers he forgot about Hap and Jo and focused on his own Old Lady.

* * *

_The information about the Swedish guy and his life sounds horrific, I know, and that's because it's __a real person, those are usually worse than any sane person can make up in their mind__. Sven Cederberg is based on a man called Carl Serung__. It__'s a shortened version of the truth up until and including the part about 'My Cambodia'. That was a few years ago and I frankly have no idea what he's up to now. The addition about Mr. Cederberg trafficking women is all __from my imagination__ and I have read no indications about that being the case with Carl Serung._


End file.
